The Darkness Within

A Deeper Reflection (Part One)

Anti's P.O.V.

My mind was racing, thousands of thoughts running through my mind and making my head spin. How was I going to get Dark to talk to me about the people in the photos without seeming suspicious? If he even suspected me of giving out information I got from him, I'd never get anything out of him and he'd never trust me. But if I didn't have anything to tell Wilford, my brother would suffer greatly for my mistakes. Which relationship was I more willing to sabotage? I hoped that answer was as obvious as I felt it was. 

As I stood under the water I ran my fingers across the countless scars that marred my chest and stomach from Wilford beating me when he was angry. I always hated looking at myself in the mirror when I was shirtless because all I could see was these ugly scars, but Dark's words last night made me see them a bit differently...

"You are beautiful Anti, don't try to cover yourself. I'm sorry those scars mark your skin, but they're a part of you and I think they're something to be proud of. They show the hardships you've been through and that you've come out the other side stronger than you had when you entered. Don't be ashamed Anti. They make you who you are." 

No one has ever said something that nice to me since I could remember. It made my heart swell and those words may have just been drunken thoughts, but I've always been told that 'drunken words are sober thoughts'. Did Dark really think I was all that? 

I squeezed my eyes shut and leaned my head against the wall of the shower, hurting. I hated the predicament I was in now. If I did what Wilford wanted and Dark found out, I'd hurt the one person who seems to care about me besides my brother. I didn't know if Dark truly loved me or my mind was playing tricks on me, but for once I decided to be optimistic and believe it wasn't a trick I was playing on myself. 

I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, drying off with a fluffy towel that was hanging next to the shower. As I was drying my hair I got a text from Wilford;

Wilford: I meant what I said Anti. I truly hope you know this because I will not hesitate to hurt Seán. 

I didn't respond right away, getting dressed before I typed my response, trying to figure out what to say. I knew I had to respond, I couldn't just ignore him or he'd get angry with me. 

Anti: I'm well aware of this Wilford. I'll do what I can to get what info I can out of him. It'll just take time and I hope you understand this. He's not an easy man to get close to from what I've heard through people he's worked with for years. But I will do my best, I promise, just give me time.

I was honestly terrified of Wilford because I knew he could hurt me even without touching me. He knew what to say and do to get me to listen to him and it was scary. He was extremely manipulative and always seemed one step ahead of everyone. I hated him with my entire being, but I couldn't do a single thing about everything he did because of the power he had. I hoped that I would finally be able to escape him and take my brother with me because after dealing with Wilford for fifteen years, it was becoming too much... 

I was tired of having my body violated by him, constantly wanting to end it all and not being able to stand up for myself because I was too afraid to. If it didn't stop soon it was going to be the death of me. My brother was the only thing keeping me going because I knew that Wilford would turn his attention to Seán after I was gone. 

After I got dressed I stared at myself in the mirror for a moment, peering into my own eyes and trying to find the answers to the questions I so desperately needed. I was so tired of being ordered around and not knowing what to do next and always being afraid. This endeavor was my last hope and I knew that if I fucked this up, I'd never live to tell the tale... 

***

Hey guys I know that my updating situation has been wacky this past week. A lot has happened and I haven't had much motivation to write. It took me five days to write this small amount and I'm sorry it wasn't as good as I promised. Though I hope you like it regardless. Anyways, I hope you all have a wonderful day/night wherever you may be and I shall see you all next week on Wednesday or Thursday. Thank you all for sticking with me through this. Love you guys ❤❤😘😘