Always Love

Chapter 18: Don't Stay Silent!

Emma

It is 6 am and I've just come home. I had the best night with Emily, Christian and some friends of his. We went to a club in Richfield and danced the night away. Noah called three times, however, I stayed strong and ignored his calls. Well actually the battery of my phone was empty and I couldn't answer any of them. But even if l could have picked up, I wouldn't have done it. And now all I wanna do is go to bed.

I look at my watch. It's already 2pm. I get up, make some coffee and turn on my phone. It's raining badly and I have a bad headache. The last tequilas wouldn't have been necessary. As soon as I turn on my phone, I get millions of messages. The first one I see is from Christian.

I had a great night. I hope your head doesn't hurt as much as mine does ;) see u soon! Christian.

He is a real gentleman. I really enjoyed the evening with him yesterday. However, most of the messages are from Noah.

Everything ok?

Hello? Where are u?

Emma??

Please call me.

He also called five times. I guess he feels very guilty. He should be. However, I guess I should let him know that I am fine. Before I can write him, someone knocks on the door. It's Noah. He has a huge piece of cheesecake in his hands and raindrops are running down his face.

"Jeez! Come in," I order. Noah runs inside and looks at me. He seems quite pissed.

"Do you need a towel?" I ask.

"She lives," he returns very harshly. "Are you alone?" Noah asks and looks around in the hallway.

"Of course... and I am sorry the battery of my phone was empty. I just wanted to write you." What the hell? Why am I sorry? I don't have to justify myself for anything. And actually why does he care if I am alone?

"Did you have a nice birthday?" he wants to know. I hand him a towel and he dries his hair. Noah still looks quite furious. However, I decide to ignore his attitude.  "Yes I had. I just woke up. Do you want some coffee?" He looks at me and it seems like he is investigating my body. Well I can't blame him, I am barely wearing anything besides my red underwear and an oversized white shirt.

"No thanks." He is very distant. "And good to hear about your birthday. I am really sorry that I couldn't be with you. I was home at midnight. We had to discuss a lot. Yale wants to keep the exhibition going for another six months." He doesn't look happy about it. Why?

"And you don't like that?"

"Actually no. They offered me to supervise it from Brazil. But I don't know. This exhibition feels like my child. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled that people like it, but I don't know what I should think about it ..." Am I allowed to say my opinion? I hope so ...

"Well I think that this is an awesome idea. I loved every second of the exhibition. And you won't stay in Brazil forever. So if you come back, you can be in charge of everything again," I say with a smile.

"I don't know how long I am going to stay in Brazil. Maybe a year. Maybe I'll go to Spain afterwards. A friend of mine teaches there; he could use my help." Ouch, that has just felt like a huge slap into my face. Wake up, Emma. He is planing his future and you are not in it. " A year? Spain? What is with Emily's and Ethan's wedding next year? You are his best man," I ask in a whisper. I feel my heart breaking into millions of pieces. It's my fault; I knew that this Vegas thing would only hurt me.

"I will be in America every now and then. However, I played with the thought of handing in my notice at Yale. I don't see myself there anymore." And here we go again; the second slap right into my face. Say something Emma. Don't stay silent.

"Anyways, tell me more about your party. With whom did you celebrate?" Is he serious right now? He drops a bomb like this and then he randomly changes the topic? I feel like in a very bad movie.

"Emily and some other people." I don't wanna talk to you Noah. I don't want to see you. Leave!

"Do I know these other people?" he asks provocatively.

"I don't know." I wanna scream and beat him. I wanna cry and push him away, but I certainly don't wanna stand in front of him right now.

"Com'on Em. I watched the news. You and Prince Charming made it into them." He tries to sound funny.

"Yeah .. I am sorry." SERIOUSLY GIRL? Even if I hate him so much right now, I want that he takes me into his arms and says that he loves me.

"Sorry? This is really none of my business. I don't care what you do." The last slap into my face is the worst. It feels like someone has ripped my heart out of my chest and torn into pieces. And here we go ... he made me cry again.

Say you love me - Jessie Ware