Always Love

Chapter 8: Torn

Noah

"I am so happy to see all of your faces. Thanks for spending this day with me. I love you all and I wouldn't be the person that I am without you. And now, let's get the party started." Amelia looks happier than ever. Well how couldn't she be? She is surrounded by her loved ones. Everybody came. I would lie if I told you that I hadn't looked for Emma in the crowd. Actually, I haven't seen her yet and I don't know if I am ready to see her with this ridiculously rich guy. And there she is. Emma is wearing a white midi dress and she put her long hair together in a lose bun. As soon as her eyes meet mine, she blushes. I can't help but start smiling. Actually I am torn. On the one hand, it feels so good to see her ... to be around her. But on the other hand, seeing her feels like someone is choking me. Looking into her blue eyes or at her soft lips, reminds me of the all the laughters and incredible moments that we had shared. I really loved her, but over the past few years I have turned off my feelings. This might sound odd, but not feeling anything for anyone, prevents you from getting hurt. Yeah I know, I am a real coward. But I know that I have truly loved someone and this is something nobody can take away from me.

"No girl today huh? Ethan mocks.

"You know that I usually don't bring girls home."

"Well good to hear that you still call this place home. I can't keep track with all the places you have visited in the past years. I don't want to sound sentimental and it's probably the wine speaking, but I miss you brother. Come home more often." I miss you too little bro. "I will. You know that I'll teach at Yale for this semester. So you won't get rid of me. And now tell me .... what is new between you and Emily?" Emily and Ethan have been going through a difficult time lately. She had one miscarriage and one stillborn child within the past two years. I really hate myself for not being there for them in this awful time. However, they are stronger than ever and this proves that they will probably stay together forever. I have always believed that Emma and I were also such a power couple. I mean, I guess we were, but as I noticed, we simply didn't work together. "Actually, I am going to propose ... today," Ethan says all of a sudden.

"WHAAAAAAT?" I almost scream. "This is ... awesome."

"Well, technically she hasn't said yes yet." He sounds very shy. "She will Ethan. She definitely will."

"Ethan, please help Harold with the food," Amelia says, takes my hands and drags me to the dance floor. We are dancing to a different version of Stand By Me and everything feels very easy. "Have you talked to your mother lately?"

"Well I am dancing with her right now." I say and smile at her as charming as possible.

"Noah...."

"I visited her last weekend. Too bad that she couldn't come today." Wow that didn't sound very convincing. "Mhm ... I know that you aren't too sad that she caught the flue. But I don't wanna lecture you today. Your mother loves you and she just wanted to protect you back then. I know that you had to go through horrible things after your dad left. But stop being angry at anyone and anything in your life."

"I am not angry. The birth father chapter is closed once and for all. I am not interested in reopening it. And there is no bad blood between me and my mum. So please, stop worrying."

"You know that I will always worry about you," she says and kisses my cheeks as she used to do when I was much smaller than her. "Emma looks good today, don't you think?"

"Jeez! Stop."

"I am just sayin'. I never understood why you broke up with her. But yeah before you say anything, I didn't forget what you told me. You were too different to get along bla bla bla. You know that this is bullshit right?" I sigh. "Yes, I will stop. I just want you to be happy and to come home Noah."

"I am home, Amelia."

"Well I want to you STAY home."

"You know that I can't."

"This is also bullshit. You have been running away ever since your heat broke into pieces years ago. Pushing away your father was somehow understandable, but pushing away Emma was stupid. Don't give me this face now. I love you Noah and I want you to be happy. But seeing your broken heart, breaks mine." My heart isn't broken. It was broken ... maybe. But now it's whole again ... maybe. "I am fine. And now enjoy your party," I say. Ethan takes Amelia's hands away from me and starts dancing with her. I am somehow exhausted from this conversation with Amelia. It is always the same; she can't stop intervening in my life. I am happy. I really am... and right now I need a drink. As I am ordering a beer at the bar, I suddenly get a warm feeling in my stomach.

"Well, well, well. It seems that we can't stay away from each other hm?" Emma says and smiles at me. She certainly looks like an angel.

Stand by me - Music Travel Love