Chapter Twelve

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I was lying on the floor in my room staring at the ceiling unaware of anything. I felt numb and I didn't even know if I was breathing. Obviously I was because I would be dead if I wasn't breathing. But what if I was already dead and this is what death felt like. It would explain the dull ache in my chest as if something that was there had been ripped out. What was I saying? My heart had been ripped out.

I don't know for how long I had been lying there without moving. It could have been a few minutes, hours or even days. I had lost all sense of time. I felt something vibrating underneath me but I ignored it. That feeling reminded me that I was still alive. I didn't want to be alive. I wanted Mason. My Mason but he was all gone now. Mamas boy was with his mama now.

The vibration continued over and over again but I kept ignoring it. I was very comfortable in this position because I was mostly numb and I knew if I moved a few places would start hurting. I wonder how long I could stay like this until I starved to death. My parents would be so sad and so would Lee and a few of my classmates, the ones I got along with at least.

I needed to get over this situation fast before this thoughts but became a reality . I had never been this low after a breakup before. I guess it could be because I turned to drugs after every break up. Maybe I could use a cigarette right now. It would feel so good as the nicotine filled smoke invaded my lungs filling me with a sense of calm. But I had spent so much energy quitting to go back now. Mason and Lee would be disappointed because they had been with me every step of the way. Silly me, Mason wouldn't care he wasn't even here anymore.

I don't think drugs would be enough to get rid of all the memories and and feelings I had of Mason. He was the first man I ever truly loved. He was perfect for me with his smile and killer body. Mason was embedded into the very fabric of my soul. Getting rid of him would leave me soulless and I don't think one could live without a soul.

I heard a knock on the door that shattered my thoughts. It wasn't the first time someone was knocking and it was going to be another time when I was going to ignore it. I think I had heard Masons voice a few times outside but I couldn't be sure, maybe it was a dream or a hallucination. The knocking this time was different softer and impatient. Maybe it was Lee. But she wasn't here, she and Jake traveled. I couldn't hear the person, I knew they were saying something or at least calling me but I couldn't for the life of me make out what the words were.

Maybe they were at the wrong door. I didn't get to dwell on those thoughts for very long before the door swung open and I saw two pairs of legs from where I was lying. Two legs started running towards me and a set of knees dropped next to my face.

I could see their lips moving but I couldn't make out the words. Suddenly I felt myself being lifted up and taken somewhere next thing I know there was cold water being splashed on my face and that was enough to bring me back to reality.

"That is cold." I commented my throat feeling dry and my mouth tasted terrible.

I was sitting on the toilet seat in my bathroom wearing nothing but a long T-shirt. It was probably Masons and I had no idea if I had underwear on or not.

"That's all you have to say to me. That is cold. Really B?" Lee shouted and that's when I looked up and noticed her.

Lee was here. My best friend finally came. She was dressed in a very cute and short lace black dress, white sneakers and her hair was in maroon braids. She was so beautiful but she was angry, I could tell because she was shaking. She only shakes when she's angry. I also noticed she was holding a wash cloth with blood on it.

"Are you bleeding?" I asked her.

She looked at me shocked for a second before she pinched the bridge of her nose, took a few deep breath and turned her steel gaze towards me.

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