Second Person (The Diary of Addison Montgomery)

Second Person, Twenty-Two

Second Person, Twenty-Two

You sort of flinch when Callie asks you if you want chocolate. You know that it started when Callie shares her Kinder bar with you and Meredith saw the traces atop your fingertips. But it's not the same without her here, and you don't know how to not explain this all to Callie.

So you say you're not hungry for chocolate now, and then you ask Callie if she wants potato chips.

You get them from the coffee cart because they sell everything there.

And Callie tells you about George and how she sort of lives with him at the 'intern house' and when she explains what that is you try not to show that you're jealous because she really means Meredith's house.

Callie complains about Grey and you defend Meredith to her, saying you're sure she didn't mean to assume she didn't wash her hands after using the washroom.

Callie looks at you a little confused because she probably thought you didn't want to talk about Meredith with her because you hated her, but now you're standing up for her when she's not even there.

But Callie brushes it off and agrees with you because you are sort of right.

And then she lets the topic slide and tells you about how Izzie doesn't like her and she doesn't like Izzie because Izzie and George have some sort of special bond that she's not in on.

She asks you if it ever bothered you when Derek has close friends that were not you. You don't know what to say because it didn't because you shared Mark as a friend until he found out your innermost desires and you had adulterous sex while talking about lesbian porn.

So of course you don't say that to Callie.

So you just shrug and she accepts this. And you realize you do want her as a friend, and that it only feels like you're 'cheating' on Meredith when Callie offers you chocolate.

Not that there's anything that's a relationship, and therefore there's nothing to be 'cheated on'. But you still can't bring yourself to eat chocolate with Callie. So you eat chips instead.

And maybe that can be yours and Callie's thing. The salty instead of the rich creamy sweet stuff. Maybe it's good to have a change from different flavors in life.

She asks about what's on your mind, and you find yourself less willing to open up as with Meredith.

But you tell her anyway about a recent patient case that is going well. And she doesn't pry more about anything else.

And all this is fine and dandy until you see Meredith Grey approaching you out of the corner of your eye.

You know she and Callie don't get along, and you know she knows the chocolate thing between you is still a secret from absolutely everyone.

So you know it must be serious if she's come to find you now.

And Meredith Grey looks horribly sad and downtrodden like she's been sobbing her eyes all-out twice over.

And all you want to do is to take her away and heal her.

But you're sitting with Callie and you just said you don't feel like chocolate and you don't want to change your mind in front of Callie and hurt her feelings.

So you're frozen in place while Meredith keeps walking foreword, and Callie can see you looking over her shoulder so she traces her own eyes to Grey.