Serilda

Chapter 40

"I have never seen him that happy," the words he spoke only told the truth that I knew. Aaron had suffered watching me with his brother. Then tried to fight with for me leading him to another path of misery and pain and that was all.

"We both our with each other," my eyes still at Aaron as he enjoyed the company of friends and family. "He completes me," I added as I took in that smile that brightened my life.

"I never could have done that right," he saw me with those eyes, assessing me for the woman I was now. My eyes just saw a man from the past nothing else making his words the truth. "Even if I had tried to make everything right after all that happened,"

My eyes closed for a moment remembering the harsh times with rarity of the good ones. I never wanted to forget that time. I couldn't wipe it and I never wanted it too because it made me realize the mistakes I had made. They made me feel stronger. They made me cherish all the moments now I had.

"We have had a past, Erik. A harsh one," I looked him in the eyes as I broke the truth for him to make him understand that some things were never meant to be like us.

"We were never each others'. You were hers and I was just me. The mistakes we have made, the decisions we both had taken all those times just for hurting each other or you just torturing me it broke out all the fractions of the pillars on which love and marriage stood. The past can't be changed but with all the sins committed and the misery we had survived in the future couldn't be built. Somethings are hard to forget," my eyes teared up a bit as the worst parts of us played in my mind.

"Some things stay with you forever. We can look past that, forgive them but never forget them. You will never forget things and neither would I. All the time we had lived together, we were toxic for each other. Burning with hatred, molded with anger, and everything was broken. Every day would have been a reminder of what you thought I did to you and what you did to me. The power of forgiveness works to a limit but after a time it makes you miserable, harsh, and cruel. I don't have it in me to become that woman ever again," my words giving me the last closure with him before ultimately closing the chapter of this part of us.

"We were never meant to be each other's. We never could have been that before and after all that has passed it would have been not only difficult but cruel to ourselves to survive with it together. The past torturing and haunting us every day. You could have moved earth and moon to make it right, Erik but nothing could change that night and the all the pain it caused," his eyes closed with the emotional pain with the truth about that night.

"You weren't there. It's not in your memory like I have had, Erik. Our dynamics changed that night. Our paths were not just shattered but crushed beyond repair. The mistakes turned you and me into something we never want to experience ever again. Neither you and nor would have been able to live with the pain of the past over our heads. Somethings aren't forgettable. Somethings aren't meant to be and somethings are never right for each other. Just like you and I," I gave him a small smile as I told him the harsh and broken truth. "Now with our pasts," His eyes were now were filled with those unshed tears that I have shed too many a times. A very slight nod gave away from him.

"I wish I could rebuild our pasts all over again from that very first time," words that were just whispered made me look away.

"If you could have done that still, I would have been love with your brother, Erik. We were just two people that were pushed together in a life of toxicity. I would have never loved you as I love him because you would have been as much as love in my sister just as I was with him. Past can't be changed; some mistakes can never be looked upon but life still moves on. If you ask me it can turn out beautiful only if you want,"

"I couldn't have had it with you, Erik because the canvas of our past can't be erased with all the blood we had drenched in it. Every day would have been a harsh reminder for both of us and it would have held us back," I smiled at him.