Serilda

Chapter 37

Serilda

I stared at the platinum band on both of our hands, the mark of our union as husband and wife as we sat waiting for the doctor to come. It had been three weeks since our wedding. Three weeks where we lived in the bliss of love and marriage. I had been scared from the first time I was scarred but Aaron had helped me. I haven't been the one who had gone through any therapy when it had happened. I had drowned in the shame and guilt. Blamed myself for it and killed myself from the inside as I laid awake night after night remembering what Erik had done to me but now all I could think of was Aaron. Every moment he had made me believe that there was more to it, that it won't be like the first one. He was gentle, understanding and everything I had wanted. He had explored my body just like I had his. He was experienced and I knew it but it didn't hurt or made me feel jealous. The only thing that mattered was that he was with me. He was with me and mine for the present and future too.

I was his and he was mine.

But now it was time to face the reality. Aaron's head had been having episodes of headaches too much lately. The pain is intensified in the morning and bis body has been getting tired so easily that he had been unable to stand last for more than a few minutes. He didn't want me to worry but I couldn't stop worrying. I knew the options, knowing the treatment had done my research well. I didn't want his condition to detroiter and worsen more. He was the only one I cared for and I would have him any way I could get. I wouldn't lose him but delaying the treatment would. Aaron had to stay alive for us and I couldn't take even the slightest chance where I could lose him forever. His memories could be wiped out but he won't be and that was enough for me.
If Aaron died somehow I knew I would follow him. He was the other half of my body and soul. If he couldn't survive then I won't live too but I had my hope that it won't come to it. That is why we were here now to discuss the treatment options and the risks.

"Good morning Mr. Reid," the doctor said as he came into the room. A middle-aged man with graying hairs sat in front of us followed by a resident.

"Good morning, doctor," Aaron greeted with a smile as the doctor looked at me.

"This is my wife, Serilda," both of them gave me a small smile.

"Congratulations, Aaron and you too Serilda. When did you two get married? If you don't mind me asking," doctor's eyes stared at our entwined hands.

"Three weeks back," Aaron's smile as I said this made my heart flutter. The doctor nodded at us.
"Serilda, are you familiar with the condition of your husband,"

"As much as he had told me, I know about the risks that this operation could end up with," there was no denying of the facts anymore.

Aaron and I both knew it well that the outcome could differ to various degrees from what we expected. We were prepared for whatever it came to.

"Okay, that's good then. I know you both are newly married and three weeks isn't going to be enough time for you but he has been on medications for too long," he pointed put at Aaron.
"The best we could have done was suppress the symptoms at that time as you weren't ready for the operation yet but the medications won't be effective much longer, Aaron. As I doctor I dont recommend you to be put on higher doses because the more you delay the more worse it could get or might have too," there spread out was all the truths. Aaron's hand squeezed mine as mine tightened around his. With one last look at each other, we have up our life up to the fates and gods.

"I'm ready to lay on the operation table," the words when spoken between us didn't hold the same weight as they did now. There was no going back now from this. It made me believe that this was really happening. The doctor gave us a sympathetic nod. Did he know how hard this was for me? How I could lose everything when I had just gained everything just now? Taking in a deep breath I let the negativity of the thoughts lose me. I was here to be his biggest supporter, not mine.

"Are you free today?" Doctor asked without hesitation to which Aaron looked at me and I gave him a small smile that we were alright. We were fine but from the inside, I didn't feel the same. I would have begged for another day of us together in our little den of love and happiness. All things we could have done together but the flash of how Aaron felt every morning and evening made me realize that it was him before me. He was in this position because of me. There wasn't any longer I could play with his life. I squeezed his hand in assurance.

"Yes," my grip on Aaron's hand didn't let go.

"We are going to run some scans and tests today, Aaron. As all the reports come back I would set up a date for the surgery" He penned down numerous tests for him.

"If you don't mind I would like for him to stay in the hospital under observation so I could keep an eye on the symptoms because sometimes tests aren't able to tell us all what a person feels," his words were directed to me and with a small nod I gave him my assent.

"Mr. Reid, Dr. Aiden will brief and get you prepared for the tests you have to go through. I would like to have a few words with your wife if it's alright," Aaron stared at me and for the first time since we woke up today, I could see the pain in those eyes. The burning desperation inside of him to stop this. His eyes pleaded with mine to not let go but I had made my heart and soul understand that it was him before me. His needs and wants took priority over mine. It was the right decision even if it might steal away our memories. He would still be here. Alive and breathing. I had this faith that if we fell in love once it would happen again, that our souls would call for each other. I would be imprinted and ingrained in his muscles and veins like his touch were ingrained in mine. A simple touch would make him remember that might get wiped away. It was a belief that breathed inside me, giving me life but at the same time the warmth of love that existed between us.

"We'll be alright," three simple words restoring his faith, restoring the belief that we would conquer everything. Maybe he and I were high on love. For others, it might feel like a hoax, a pretending but nothing could really tell how we both felt in this moment other than us because it was we who had to face the consequences. He and I with no one else.

Giving him a peck on his lips I let go of his hand.

"I'm fine with it," the words didn't waver with the worry that had made home inside my heart under the layers of hope and faith as I faced the doctor. A lingering kiss over my forehead as he stood up made my eyes close away with a love that crackled between us. Another minute and he was gone leaving behind a silence in the room. My eyes lingered on the door.

"He would be fine. He has gone through it before," the doctor's words made my eyes turn away from the door to him.

"He might have but neither I nor my husband has. He might have been Aaron Reid earlier but now he is my husband. I hope you understand that where I'm coming from," a slight nod from him with a small smile wasn't enough but enough to take me off the edge.

"I can assure that he is in best hands, Mrs. Reid,"

"Just Serilda please," I insisted not willing someone to call me what everyone did when I was with Erik.

"Serilda, I can understand how scary this might be for him but mostly for you. However, I can't play with Aaron's health and condition any longer. He had begged me for time again and again as he had end up in the hospital due to the raising symptoms but I can't delay it any longer. This tumor is on the verge of spreading to spreading other parts. How he has been able to live with this long is itself a miracle but every ticking minute that he lives with it is in the process of robbing him of his life," he looked at me out of concern.

"I can't lose him," whispered out in desperation.

"I know," he looked at me a bit too long. "I promise you Serilda that I won't let him die not under my watch but I," words were hard to form for him.

"I can't promise that I could bring the same Aaron back to you as he you know. there is a huge chance he won't come back with the same memories Serilda as he has now. All I would be able to do is try my best is to extract the tumor without trying to disturb anything else but the place where it is a tricky one. So it's going to be all up in the air whether he comes back with memories or he doesn't but I won't let him die. It's the best I could give you," his words gave me faith but at the same time took away the hope. Maybe this was a test of our love. Test for our hearts or just a path to find the real us once again. To find who we were when it started. A new beginning with the same old love and us.

..................................................

The next update is on Saturday
Forgive me for delay I was busy puking the whole day.