Serilda

Chapter 10

Serilda

Through tear-filled lashes, I looked up to him while holding onto him for my dear life. His scent and aura enveloped me, making me feel safer than ever before. I didn't care about dragging him down with me. I needed someone to hold me even when I was falling in this moment. I wanted to be helped at all costs but at the same time, I didn't want anyone to know the secret I buried deep inside of me. I have suffered, gone through darkness because of it. 

I had lost my biggest happiness because of the misery I was suffering. I should have been happy but their actions killed me from the inside. They hurt me. The loneliness ate me. I could feel the depression hitting me vehemently.  Nothing was going to help me. I had no one then, not even Aaron. The only person I could rely on was Martha the old lady who kept the house in order but even she wasn't enough for me. I was happy one moment but then the sadness ambushed me, making me remember that my happiness was there because of the horror I had suffered. I had spent a month suffering when the worst hurt me. I couldn't take the pain that Erik and she gave me. I couldn't, I think no one could.

It had been a year of our marriage. A year where I was forced to confine inside the four walls of the place called to be my home. I had kept quiet drawn myself back after that fateful night when I was misunderstood to be her by Erik. I had wanted to seduce him that night dressed like her I had reached for a drunken him. I didn't know about the\pain he was in. He was missing her, cursing her and in the same loving her in his mind. He was lost in her thought while all I wanted to do was to show Erik that I could be more than her for him, I could become his greatest indulgence and love but I was burned that night.                         

He was drunk beyond his limits and in need of her. I wanted him to just look at me, see me for once rather than her. Forget her for once. Every night I begged the Gods to let him give me a chance, I just wanted to be with him, make my marriage life a bit better. I had already lost everything because of me marrying him.Aaron distasted me, loathed me even hated to be in my presence. Every time I would look into his eyes all I could see was hatred in them for me. 

All I wanted was to become his better half as I had vowed to be. All I wanted to be was his wife. I had made the move being dressed in a sexy nightwear in hopes to get his attention. However, the only thing I got was her name that had rolled out of his lips like a prayer.

"It's me Serilda," I had cried out to him.

"Serene," he once again called her name, I loathed her name. I hated everything about her.

"No, it's me. Me Serilda, your wife. The one who is there with you when she isn't,"  I yelled out for him to hear but he didn't. His eyes burned with anger.

"Why did you leave me!" he raged out at me making me step back from him.

"She isn't here it's me," I said in a calm tone to pacify him but he didn't hear. He was lost in his pain for her and the agony he burned him.

"You married me, Erik. It's me Erilda your wife," I pacified him with a hand over his cheek. His eyes closed at my touch and I felt like things could be good between us that things could change but that didn't happen. His eyes shot open and looked at me. throwing away his glass of whiskey he grabbed me forcefully.

"Why did you do this to me, Serene?" He roared and I felt fear settle inside me. I knew I had to leave. The fire that burned inside his eyes scared me, told me a tale of pain that was fuelling his anger. 

"Why?" He demanded while shaking me up violently. I cried out in pain as his hold grew tighter on me.

"Leave me," I shouted at the top of my lungs but he wasn't hearing.