𝗥𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗼𝗺 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗜𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀 🤍

𝗢𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗠𝘂𝗿𝘀- 𝗣𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗲

NOTE: Written in 2020, so this is really bad, it probably shouldn't be published but I'll do it anyway just to get it out my drafts.

Disclaimer: Panic Attacks, mentions of Depression.
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2016

Lately, I was getting increasingly more concerned about my best friend Olly Murs, he had become more reserved even for simple things like going into town, I've had to force him to leave the house the last few months.

We were both currently at the studio for the Graham Norton Show backstage. I was there like I was for every performance Olly did, we basically did everything together, he always told me he needed me there but my presence lately had become more a necessity.

I hadn't seen the Essex man in a while, he had been whisked into wardrobe then make-up I believe he was currently in his dressing room- Because of this I had gone to get a drink then I got held up talking with some of the guests even talking to Graham himself as I had become friends with the Irishman from my few appearances on the show myself for my career.

Eventually, Graham got called away to begin the show, so I went over off to the dressing rooms finding the one with Olly's name on.
Gently, I knock before entering where my eyes landed on the singer who was slouched into a chair looking nervous, his breathing was slightly quicker than normal, my heart picked up in pace slightly at the sight out of concern within a few seconds I was knelt in the floor in front of him. "Olls, You okay?"

His eyes met mine a hesitant and small fake smile on his face. "Course, why wouldn't I be?"

"No reason, really.... you're just not yourself lately, you okay?"

Olly's face falls slightly, a flash of fear comes across his face. "I'm fine"

I place my hand onto one of his. "Olly-"

"I'm fine!" He shouts which makes me jump back in fear, he'd never yelled at me before. The moment he realises what he did- regret lined his face. "Y/N, I'm so sorry- I..I'm just tired"

I nod in understanding, but still not believing he's telling me the whole truth. "It's fine... you'd tell me if something was wrong wouldn't you?"

Hesitantly, he nodded, at this point I knew he wouldn't tell me anything so I dropped it and made an excuse to leave the room to give him some space. "I need to use the bathroom, I'll be back in a minute" I spoke quickly before walking out the door.
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I must have disappeared for a good 30 minutes, Olly was due to perform his song in about 10 minutes- I decided that I'd given him enough time to calm down fully so I head back from the green room into the direction of Olly's dressing room.

This time I don't bother knocking I just walk in, at first glance the room looked empty. Maybe he's waiting to go on...

I take one final look around before going to close the door, but then I hear something. It was almost like someone couldn't breathe, pushing the door open again I enter the room concern filling my body- I walk behind the sofa stopping in my tracks.

Olly was slumped onto the ground, his breathing was short and erratic, I could feel the fear radiating off him. He couldn't breathe.

Swiftly, I drop to my knees and place a hand onto the mans back and began rubbing circles. "Olly? Olly honey? Look at me" I ask.

He looks at me, and grips my hand fear clear in his gaze. "I- I ca..n't bre- breathe"

"Your having a panic attack, okay? Just.. just calm down"

He shakes his head frantically. "I can't." He gasps "I can't..I'm scared"

"I know hun. I know, just follow my breathing okay?" I say worried out my mind.

Weakly the singer nods, his grip on my hand getting tighter. I take a deep breathe which he repeats, I exhale- he follows. After doing this for about a minute Olly finally begins to calm down.

"There we go, sweetheart. Just breathe.." I soothe, while pulling him closer to my chest taking my hand from his back and running it through his hair. "Has this happened before?"

Olly sighed and nodded. "It's never been that bad before, I couldn't breathe- I thought...- It felt like I was gonna die"

"Your alright now...What caused it?"

The man sighed while positioning himself so he could look at me properly. "I- I don't know.... I guess the other year... y'know with my depression and everything. It's just got worse since that stuff at the Xtra Factor... people said things on Instagram, in the media- I failed and I just feel like everything else is going to go wrong.. that I'll lose everything."

My heart aches for him, oh Olly... "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought you'd leave... I couldn't lose you" he whispers ashamed.

"Nothing could drive me away from you. You should have told me, I could have helped you. Nobody should suffer in silence"

"I know, but it's not like I can just go to someone, I'm a man. I meant to deal with it-"

I cut him off before he could continue. "You're human, Olly. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

"The press don't see it like that" he mumbles.

"Fuck them! If you need help, screw them Olly! You shouldn't have to go through this!"

The man places his head back on my chest. "Help me"

A small smile comes across my face. "Course I will, always."

"I-... I love you"

My body tenses up, wondering if I heard him correctly. "What?"

"I love you.....I think it's been pretty obvious.. songs like 'Heart Skips A Beat' didn't come from nowhere you know." Olly laughs nervously (Lets pretend that the song was written by Olly for the sake of fluff 😂)

"I- you wrote that song about me?"

"I've written a lot of songs about you. You've always been there for me Y/N, I can always depend on you.. I really do love you"

I forget for a moment how to function, but eventually lift the mans head up and smash my lips onto his, instantly they meld together- and sparks fly. "I love you too" I whisper.

Suddenly, the door bursts open- the sound causes us to jump up, and we're face with one of the production team. "Mr Murs... you're on"

He nods and looks to me "See you later" he says while placing a chaste kiss to my cheek.

"Good luck"

Olly sends me a wink before walking out with the production man.

That man will be the death of me, that's for sure...