(Repeat No Takebacks. By Kiana Ledé)
Zhavia's Point Of View
Friday
October 1, 2016
"Your favorite color is red, your favorite flowers are lotuses, and you like grand romantic gestures, but only in movies." Grayson hands me a boquete of red Lotuses which are rarer than you'd think. I take them and take a step back so he can come inside.
"I'm sorry, what is this?" Please tell me this isn't what I think it is... "I told Julissa I just want to be friends, it would be unfair to me, her, and you if I acted like I don't care about you." He caresses my cheek and I feel like melting into his hand. "Grayson it would be unfair of me to except whatever this is right now."
"Then don't don't expect it now but know it's on the table. I know what I feel and I know you feel it too. Please." He looks into my eyes and there is no usual playful look, not lust, but passion. "I'll think about it, that's all I can give you because everything in my heart tells me that you're being genuine. Yet my head tells me that I am no different than any other girl, and that you just want one thing."
"Zhavia! Hey I got it off!" Ethan yells from upstairs, Grayson gives me a look, like he's confused. "Was that Ethan?" He asks pulling his hand away from my face. "Yeah but it's nothing like that, he- he just-"
"You don't owe me an explanation it's fine, I shouldn't have done this." He walks over to the door opening it. "Wait, what? I'm sorry what? You can't just do that." I say stopping him, he was just telling me how he feels and now he regrets it, he can't just-
"Do what?" He asks as though he doesn't know what I'm talking about. "You can't just give me whiplash like that! One minute you're confessing your feelings and then you turn around all 'NVM' you can't just do that to someone." He nods. "You're right, it's completely rude of me I admit. Here's the thing Zhavia, that whiplash is what I've felt for two years. Yeah me and Ethan made a stupid bet last year, and yes it was cruel, it was wrong but you spent every day after that bet torturing me and Ethan." What is he even talking about?
"I tortured you two?" I, tortured them?! "Yes, what you didn't know was the whole story, and you know what, it doesn't even matter anymore. Because all you will ever see is how it made you feel. Not the arguing me and my brother did over you, or how you would play hot and cold with both of us. So yeah, forget I was here."
"So this was what? To make me feel how you felt? You're an ass you know that?" He steps back and shrugs. "I take it back, I take back every word I said. Forget I said any of it. Keep the flowers Z, goodnight. You're wrong, because you're not just any other girl. You're worse." With that he turns around walking home, how can he say something so meaningful and say never mind? I hate him, I was so stupid. I'm an idiot to think that he meant any of it. I feel my breathing start to pick up and my eyes fill with tears.
I slam the front door and storm back upstairs seeing Ethan. I forgot he was still here, I wipe my eyes I don't want him to see me cry. "Z, you okay," I nod not saying anything, I try to reel in my breathing because if I loose control the tears will start. "No you're not, you're doing that thing where-" I turn around feeling a tear fall and that's when I feel the rest of them fall.
"You don't have to do that. Come sit down." He guides me to my bed and we both sit there while I tear up trying my best not to cry. "I feel so stupid, god." My hands cover my eyes, rubbing my eyes wiping the tears away.
"What do you mean what happened?" I have absolutely no reason to trust him but he's also the only safe person I can tell. "Every since that night my mom called, things with Grayson have been weird. I- I tried to kiss him-"
"Tried?"
"I was just hurting, I just wanted to do something to distract me but he pulled away. Then the night before Julissa came back we kissed and I wasn't sure what to make of it. I thought liked me, I thought I liked him. That was him at the door and..."
"You can tell me, I won't tell Cam, I know pissed she would be." Thank god.
"He made me feel like he cared, he told me I was special and I felt happy, but then he told me he didn't mean it. He just wanted to make me feel the way I made you two feel. I felt cared about and now I just feel dumb. I believed him." Ethan throws his arm around my shoulders comforting me.
"He's just confused, I don't know how he feels but I know enough to know that he just feels lost. I know he did like you, he's right you did play hot and cold with us all the time, but it's nothing we didn't deserve." I didn't think it really hurt them because I really didn't think they cared.
"I'm sorry if I played with your feelings at all, I'm sorry if it feels like I still do it. I'm just, broken."
"You're not broken you're hurt, it's okay that you like him." My head pulls away from his shoulder and I give him a confused look. 'like?'
"You're hurt because you thought he meant it because you like him. It's not rocket science Z."
"I'm an idiot." I shake my head to myself.
"Well actually you're top of our class."
