(Repeat Protection By Kiana Ledé)
Zhavia's Point Of Veiw
Friday
September 10, 2016
"You don't mean that Z, you're just hurting. That's understandable it's okay to cry." He rubs my back soothing me, and it's working. He's wrong, I do hate her. She left me, not even just me, me and my dad. He was devastated and still is. She scarred me, lots of people grow up without a dad, but mother's? They are important. "I absolutely hate her. She's the reason for fucking everything. She's the reason I'm broken, the reason shit goes wrong for me. How the hell can you carry someone for nine months and just leave them?!" My head pulls away from him just and I look at him.
"You're not broken Z, there is nothing wrong with you. You are amazing, you're the smartest, prettiest, most determined person I know." I scoff not believing him. "If I'm so amazing, then why did she leave?" My breathing becomes unstable once again, he notices. "Hey Z, Zhavia look at me. It's not your fault you hear me? She missed out not the other way around. You're perfect, she's the one who messed up. Don't you think for a minute that you pushed her away." His eyes stare into mine, my breathing calms down. I nod knowing what he's saying is true.
He smiles making my stomach flutter, he wipes the tears from my cheeks. All I can focus on is his features with the moonlight from my window shining on his face. The pad of his thumb glides across my cheek, then down to my chin. I can see him staring at my lips, debating on what he should do. I lightly grab his wrist removing his hand from my chin. We're so close right now I can feel the warmth from him radiating on to me. Our foreheads lean against one another.
Surprising myself I lean in to kiss him, but he pulls aways away. I furrow my eyebrows looking at him, confused. "Z, we shouldn't, we can't not like this." I pull completely away from him shaking my head to myself. "I get it, the one time I want you to distract me. To be with me you don't want to." He looks at me confused not knowing what to say. "It's not convenient to you right now because I'm actually showing emotion? That's not what you want, what you want is for me to be emotionless because you want one thing from me. No emotions attached." I get up from my floor standing up now, he does the same.
"Zhavia, that's not it at all, you're vulnerable right now. I'm not going to take advantage of you like that-" He reaches to grab my hand but I pull it away crossing my arms. "No! No but it is like that, any other time you would take advantage of me. Don't feel bad about it, go ahead fuck me Grayson, then go run and tell Ethan how you won. Collect your twenty bucks or whatever it is you get for winning." I can't believe I almost really wanted to kiss him.
He probably only comforted me hoping I'd remember it when I am okay, so he could 'win'.
"I'm an idiot, please let me explain." He steps closer to me, but I take a step back. "No, don't, just leave. Get out." I don't even look at him, I don't want him here anymore. "Z, you don't understand though, I know you think you do but-"
"I said leave Grayson! Get out!" I'm not even focused on being sad anymore, I'm past that. All I can feel is anger so for the stupid fucking deal. He has no idea how fucking shitty it makes me feel. Neither of them do, but I'm one thing to him and Ethan. It is all I will ever be, and I'd be stupid to think anything else. He nods and reluctantly leaves. I slam my door, lean my back against it and slide down it crying again. "Ugh! What is wrong with me?!" I scream crying out, my hand find their way into my hair, griping it.
Grayson's Point Of Veiw
Friday
September 10, 2016
Her door slams in my face, I stand there wanting to find something to say to make her feel better. I hear her start to cry again, "ugh! What is wrong with me?!" If only she knew, there's nothing wrong with her. She's perfect I want to explain the whole thing with me and Ethan. She sounded so hurt, I've never seen her like this. I didn't even know this side of her existed. "I'm sorry." I know she can't hear me but I needed to say it. I leave, going back home.
When I open the front door I see my parents and Mr.Fields cleaning up. "Hey you're back, the movies over." My dad says making me nod. "Is Z okay? She seemed upset." Her dad looks at me waiting for an answer. "Fine, she just wasn't feeling to well..." he looks at me not believing me.
"Yeah, I should go see what's really going on. Thanks for walking her home." He smiles walking to the door. "It was no problem." He leaves and I shut the door behind him. "Is E upstairs?"
"Yeah, he also seemed upset." My dad responds giving me a look. "I should see what's going on." I go to the stairs starting to go up. "Good call." My mom says when I reach the top. I knock on Ethan's door and get no answer. I open the door, seeing him on his bed with his headphones plugged in.
He takes them off when he sees me. "Dad said you were upset." He sits up in his bed and shrugs. I give him a look signaling for him to tell me what happened. "Zhavia snapped at me. I just wanted to help her, something wasn't right with that call Gray. She did that thing with her breathing and all I did was ask her what's wrong. She basically spit in my face, she said I was just trying to have sex with her. She was upset, I just wanted to help." I nod knowing exactly what he means.
"I get it, she snapped at me to. E, I think she knows."
"Knows what?" He furrows his brows.
"About the deal."
