Tomorrow [Tsukishima Kei x Reader]

32

[Full Name]'s POV

When I opened my eyes, I was facing the ceiling.

I felt so drained. I didn't want to move anymore. I just wanted to lie down until I stop breathing.

"Oh, you're awake."

I sat up and looked at the door.

"Aunt Ume? Is that you? Wait let me get my glasses."

I turned to my side, reaching out to the table. But I stopped as soon as I saw there was someone next to me. The person was sitting on a stool and their head was resting on their arms that were on the side of the bed.

I grabbed my glasses and stared at the person. Blond hair. I couldn't see their face since they were facing the other way, but I didn't have to see his face to know who it was. The glasses near him only confirmed who it was.

"Aunt Ume, why is Tsukki here?"

"Oh?" she asked. "He was waiting for you to wake up. He arrived an hour ago, I think. He was about to leave but I told him to stay if he wanted to."

"I see," I said, looking at him. I smiled softly at him even though he didn't see it.

"What a nice boy he is. You should've seen his face when he saw the nurses rush to your room yesterday. The boy looked so worried," she said.

"Wait. He saw me?" I asked, worried that he saw my helpless state yesterday.

"No, he didn't. I asked him to leave before he could even come near. He was with someone else too, by the way. A boy with green hair and freckles."

"Yama-kun?"

"I don't know his name," Aunt Umeko said. "Tsukishima-kun is the one I always see so he's the only one I actually know. Now that I remember it, a lot of boys seem to be visiting you."

"They're all from the boys' team for the volleyball club, Aunt Ume. Don't think otherwise," I said, pouting.

"Volleyball club, huh? Couldn't distance yourself from it, could you?" she asked, smiling at me.

"You know me, Auntie," I said with a grin.

The two of us shared a smile before hers morphed into a sad one.

"[Name], I'm sorry but you playing volleyball-"

"I know," I grit my teeth as I tried to stop her from saying it.

I knew. I knew that the chances of me returning to volleyball was slim to none. I'd like to say that I was holding on to that slim chance, but I was growing tired.

"I'm sorry," Aunt Umeko said.

"Don't be, Auntie. It's not your fault," I said, smiling at her.

"Well, I only came to check up on you. I'll be leaving now," she said. "Also, you should think about what we discussed before."

I only nodded as I watched her leave the room and close the door. A sigh went past my lips as the room was once again filled with silence.

I looked at Tsukki who was still sleeping. I didn't want to wake him up yet, mostly because I wanted to avoid him asking questions about yesterday.

"Were you worried?" I said with a soft voice. "I'm sorry if you were. I'm glad you didn't see me yesterday. If you did, I don't know what I'd do."

I knew how bad it was getting, my condition. My mother told me everything would be fine, but I knew she was lying. How could it be? How could everything be fine? Things weren't going to be fine and she knows that. But still, she clings to that small hope she has that things will be okay.

Hope. Oh, how much does it cost?

Hoping was something I've been doing my whole life. I hoped that things would get better. I hoped that my time would be longer. But hope can only last so long.

Once I realized how much disappointment hope gave me, I stopped hoping. That was one of the reasons I stopped caring about my health as well.

I pushed myself to get better for volleyball because I didn't know how much longer I could play it.

Maybe it was foolish to be like that. But isn't that the point of life— doing something foolish to enjoy it? And with how little time I might have, I might as well spend it fooling around as much as I could.

I guess it only really hit me how much of a fool I had been when I passed out during my match with the girls. But it was too late for regrets at that time.

I wanted to go back to volleyball so much, but they didn't let me. They told me I could only go back once I'm okay. Hoping I could be okay once again was what all I could do— something I was too used to doing.

All the hoping I did after that was nothing but a lie. I wanted nothing more than to play volleyball as much as I could. I really enjoyed the week-long training camp because of that but even then, my own body failed me.

It was when I passed out after the Shiratorizawa match when I got it back. The slight glimmer of hope again.

Hope can be found in the most surprising places. For me, it was found in someone who I never thought would believe in me, Tsukishima Kei.

"Thank you for believing in me," I said to him.

When he found out the truth, he told me I could get better— I had to if I wanted to go back to volleyball. I didn't know why but him saying that gave me the strength to believe in hope again.

I knew he was hoping that I'd get better— or at least, that's how I saw it. I guess I caught a little bit of that hope as well.

But it wasn't enough, like always. Hoping, was once again, too much of a task. Especially after what happened yesterday. I could still remember how my whole body ached, but not as much as my brain did. Remembering the event comes with reliving the pain and how it hurt so much.

"I'm sorry," I said to the blond near me who still had his head down. "I think I'm done with hoping, Tsukki."

I looked to the other side— the part of the room where the window is. I could only stare at the sky. It's been too long since I've gone outside.

"I don't want to live like this anymore. I'm so tired," I said under my breath. "I want to rest."

"Don't leave."

My eyes widened as my head turned to Tsukki who was looking at me.

"Tsukki."