Away We Go • 2 • Formula One

Chapter 28

please interact bc i need attention ty

*tw later on*

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My interview was pretty infuriating so I was quite proud to have only sworn on the one occasion. It was no surprise that the main focus of the interview was about the fuck up we made with timing. I had been warned by Toto in advance not to blame anyone in particular since we hadn't come to an agreement on who was to blame. Most of my anger was directed to Esteban, but apparently there was a delay in telling him to speed up when the engineers realised I might not make the flag. Then when asked about why he didn't let me through, he said that there wasn't enough space by the time he realised and then we both would've missed the flag. I didn't know what to believe, so I did as Toto instructed and kept my answer about who was to blame vague: "It doesn't matter who's at fault; the mistake is inexcusable for a team like us and we'll take extra measures to make sure it doesn't happen again."

I had expected Max to be empathetic and perhaps give me a warm cuddle when I returned to our hotel room but that was definitely not the case. That little bastard thought Mercedes making an error was the funniest thing that could ever happen. He would break out into random giggles whenever he saw the tight look on my face, or give a patronising 'aww' and pinch my cheek. I wish I could've smacked that adorable dimple off of his cheek because it made his smile infectious. Max may be irritating sometimes, but he did know how to make me smile.

That night, once he finally settled down with fatigue, Max was a lot more kind. He would press random kisses to the side of my head and hug me from behind whenever we were standing. Max also held my hand during my phone call to Lewis as I ranted for thirty minutes straight about what happened. My teammate was angry, like me, and reassured that he would never let anything like that happen when he eventually returns to the team. He seemed to have the blame pointed slightly towards Esteban Gutierrez, however he did admit that he may have been biased because he wished he was racing this weekend instead. Just talking to Lewis made me wish he was here this weekend.

Max held me against his chest for the entire night. When it got warm, he would kick off the quilt so that he didn't have to let go. He didn't get much choice in the matter because I had a vice-like grip on his arms so he couldn't move. I was never going to take moments like this for granted and wanted him as close as possible. When he held me in his arms, I didn't feel angry anymore, or scared, or worried about what tomorrow might hold. I was content.

I didn't want to get up the following morning but knew that the team wanted me in with plenty of time to spare. The focus after qualifying was on what happened during it so there wasn't much time to prepare for possible race strategies. My engineer still needed to set me targets for my laps, as well as to discuss whether I'll be on a one-stop or two-stop. Being behind both Ferraris was less than ideal, but I still had the advantage over my teammate. From the data collected during the practice sessions, it seemed like Mercedes and Ferrari had a similar race pace so strategy was more than likely going to change depending on what Seb and Charles do.

The time leading up to the race felt agonisingly slow. The tension in the garage was thick, which probably played a part in the endless feeling of the preparation. I continued to ignore Esteban because of the tightness in my chest that I felt whenever I looked at him. The only words I spoke to him happened after the national anthem: "Stay out of my way." I didn't mean to come across as hostile, but I was still very annoyed. The other drivers during the parade earlier in the day had also kept an increased distance from me so as to not confront my stoney face.

When I went to put my helmet on, yet another little note fell out onto the floor. I hurriedly picked it up, feeling my chest swell with warmth before I had even read was on the crisp white paper: 'Don't let what happened yesterday have an impact on your drive. You're an exceptional driver and I know you're going to prove to everyone that you are not to be messed with. I know you're probably anxious about the race because of last year, I saw first hand how you were affected and I wish I could take away that pain. I've got your back no matter what x'.