Away We Go • 2 • Formula One

Chapter 54

genuinely wasn't expecting to get a chapter out in february - i'm so sorry to keep you waiting for this chapter!

as always, please leave your comments throughout and don't forget to vote. i'm going to dedicate my lonely valentines day to replying to you guys. also ignore that it's like 5am GMT when I'm uploading this my sleep schedule really is messed up.

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Sebastian Vettel is my favourite member of Ferrari by a great margin (full offence to Charles). Not only is he a talented racer and respectful rival when on track, but he is the most humble and empathetic member of the entire paddock. When he cares about someone, he cares for them. I am so grateful for my close relationship with him especially during times like these. His many years on this Earth have made him wise, although I'd never say that to his face or else I'm sure he'll start ranting about how he's still 'very young'. Tell that to your grey hairs, Sebbie.

There was no stopping me when I opened up to Seb about everything. From Lando, to my dad,  to my miscarriage and diagnosis, to my doubts about my future in the sport - I brought it all up like word vomit. Whilst a part of me recoiled at unloading all of my baggage onto yet another person, I knew that the subsequent weight off of my shoulders would be a big help. There's no-one on the current grid who I'd trust more with my problems. If anyone's going to be able to offer any advise, it'll be Sebastian. He maintained an open mind as he listened with great interest and gave me the warmest hug when I struggled to find the words to say to express my pain. I wished it was this easy to open to my own therapist, however Seb was more than enough to help me in the moment. I needed a friend in that moment, not a medical professional to analyse every single one of my thoughts and feelings.

After all of my tears, it was no surprise to Seb that I was physically exhausted. My mascara had been smeared further down my cheeks and I was far from paddock presentable. If I were to leave Seb's driver's room looking like this, there would be many assumptions made about me. I knew that I was going to experience some slander anyway because of my suddenly cancelled commitments - I need to minimise the bad press if I want to keep sponsors happy. Max wasn't due to finish for another hour and Seb was kind enough to let me relax in his quiet environment until he did. Unfortunately, I was going to be left alone so that Seb could attend the press conference I was supposed to be attending. I'm sure if Britta hadn't been spamming his phone with texts every two minutes, he'd have missed it with me.

I decided to spend my hour doing something relatively productive rather than just napping like I wanted to. Lizzie would lecture me if I did anything that could disrupt my sleep schedule so I pulled out my phone instead to update my Spotify. I had yet to miss a race weekend playlist, and my playlist for the Hungarian Grand Prix was nearing completion. Did I throw in a couple of songs to throw subtle shade at Lando? Yes. Just because I'm sad doesn't mean I'm any less petty.

As I added the final song to the playlist, my phone pinged with a notification from my sister. It brought tears to my eyes to see her, my brother, and Andrea together in the kitchen making my dad's favourite meal to celebrate his life rather than mourn his death. There were undertones of sadness in each of their smiles, but I knew that Dad wouldn't want us to be. I hadn't even attempted to make his favourite risotto dish since he died, and it was, to this day, the only thing I could probably cook decently. In that moment, I decided that I was going to make it for Max and I's dinner.

I knew I had another half an hour until Max was due to finish when my phone pinged again. This time, I had a text from Stoffel.

'Ran into D and he said you cancelled the rest of your duties for today. If you're still at the paddock, do you want a lift back to the hotel? It's been too long since I last annoyed you
- Waffle 🧇💙'