BOOK 2
SEQUEL TO LIGHTS OUT - SPOILERS - MAKE SURE YOU READ BOOK ONE FIRST
That day in Abu Dhabi changed everything. Her secrets may no longer be her own, but the real battles have only just begun. Having such a renowned and experienced teammate, th...
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this chapter mentions topics that some readers may find distressing. please do not read if you are uncomfortable with or struggling with suicide/suicidal thoughts. if you are, the attached comment will contain phone numbers and resources that you can access for help. please don't suffer in silence. in addition to this, my dms are always open if there's ever anything you need to get off your chest with total confidentiality, and i'll try my best to offer as much support as i can.
if you do decide not to read this chapter, let me know so i can give you a summary that avoids the aforementioned topic(s) so that you don't feel like you're missing out. you can do this privately if you wish, or you can leave a comment and i'll send you a dm. the last thing i would want is to put any of you in a difficult position.
as always, your votes and comments are appreciated. please keep them up! please give me plenty to reply to so i'm not just sat bored.
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I am lost.
I am lost and I don't know what to do.
Hopping on the first available plane to Switzerland wasn't a plan - it was an escape route. I didn't know what I needed but I knew that I had to just get away for some time. The madness was consuming my waking thoughts and it felt as if I was no longer in control of anything in my life. Going to Switzerland was my choice, and I'm going to make to most of it.
After the therapy session, I went back to Max's house with him (I had wanted to get a taxi but he was very insistent) to pack a suitcase of my things. I would've loved to have taken Lemon with me, however there are certain rules you need to follow before you can take a pet abroad with you and so she would have to wait in the UK with Max. I had already filled out plenty of online forms ready to get the documents I need in a few weeks to take her with me. If I could get Lemon used to travelling, she could accompany me to some races abroad. Now that Marcus is spending increasing amounts of time in Italy in preparation for his return, I was going to also have Murray attending more weekends with me and it would be nice to have the pair to keep me company if I no longer have Max. I had my Uber make a detour to Marcus's house so that I could pick up Murray and some more belongings.
Despite spending the past three and a half years on a plane almost every other weekend, I had always been a nervous flier. Having Murray beside me helped on those journeys to ease some of the nerves. Take-offs and landing were the worst for me, as well as any spots of turbulence that made me fear we were going to crash land and I'd perish, or worse - crash onto the 'Lost' island and survive. I was surprised when I stepped foot on the pain with my body felt calm.
With sunglasses perched on my nose and inconspicuous clothing, no-one recognised me or stopped to ask for a photo. I love my supporters, I really do, but I don't want them to catch me on an off-day just in case I appear rude. There was one person on the grid who I allowed to see me and that was Mick. He had arrived in Switzerland the previous night and was kind enough to pick me up from the airport to save me the pricey taxi ride. The topic of conversation was a restaurant Mick had taken his mum the previous evening - no racing, no Max, no drama. It almost pained me when I declined his offer to stay with me for a while, but I needed this time alone. He didn't live too far away, anyway, so I reassured him that he could pop over.
