BOOK 2
SEQUEL TO LIGHTS OUT - SPOILERS - MAKE SURE YOU READ BOOK ONE FIRST
That day in Abu Dhabi changed everything. Her secrets may no longer be her own, but the real battles have only just begun. Having such a renowned and experienced teammate, th...
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dealing with some difficult news atm which is why it took so long for a chapter to come out. i find motivation hard when i'm depressed and nothing i was writing felt good enough. i'm trying to be less apologetic for things out of my control, however i am sorry for not updating you guys.
please don't forget to vote and comment throughout. engagement has been down and it's breaking my heart.
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It feels like a cruel joke at this point, how life can finally feel like things are going my way only for it to do a one-eighty turn into fire and anguish. My time in between preparation for the Singapore Grand Prix weekend which was less than a week away was spent talking with lawyers and investigators. Not only was my reputation being flushed down the toilet, but more importantly so were my friendships. I had no leg to stand on - I was done lying. Although the conclusions of the article were complete bullshit, most of the quotes and feelings I had felt were very much real. They were things I felt guilty confessing in confidentiality, and they were never meant to make front-page news.
I wasn't allowed any contact with Lauren for obvious reasons. There was an open investigation into the matter, and she's the last person I wanted to talk to. I couldn't believe that she would do this - what would she get out of it? - however I was too hurt to seek out the details.
Victoria had been the first one to call me. Tears still fill my eyes at the memory. She made the phone call to check up on me, saying that she couldn't believe the lies that the anonymous character at Motion News was spewing. That's when I had to break her heart. I'm done lying, and I didn't want to be constantly weighed down by the guilt of emotions I was not in control of. I didn't get a chance to explain myself before she hung up. Shortly after, both her and Cate were unfollowing me on social media and all of my efforts to contact them fell short so I guessed they had blocked my number, too.
Bella had been the one to hold me through my sobbing episodes. Upon the release of the article, Max was still in Monaco and wouldn't be able to make it home until the end of the weekend. I knew that the article wasn't going to change his opinion on me; he knew and understood my guilty secret feelings better than anyone else in my life. He was probably my only shot at getting Vic to forgive me, and so I didn't protest when he suggested he visit his mum for a couple of days before returning to the UK.
Every relationship under blast in the article felt like it was crumbling between my fingertips. Lewis said he was disappointed to hear what was said even though the context was way off - "I know I wasn't supposed to hear any of that, and I pray for your sake it people move on quickly," - Stoffel asked I give him a bit of space until the worst of this blows over - "we're formula one drivers and we're selfish, it just stings to hear something like that coming from a friend," - my family cancelled the plans we had made to meet up before my flight - "we're just, uh, really busy right now," - and Damien... being completely ignored was just as painful, if not more so.
