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Sofia

the halls were beautifully decorated, and it feels uncomfortable living in such a nice place 'what if i break something expensive?' i carefully walked down the hallway and into the dining room where breakfast would be served. arriving at the dining room, the table was full of food, eggs, pancakes, sausage, fruits! everything looks delicious.

"Young miss, please have a seat." Felix in his nice clothes tells me as he pulls out a chair for me to sit in, 'this is papa's seat...' i thought as he didn't see any problem with that.

"papa sits here" i state, i didn't want him to get in trouble. "yes, he does, but you're his daughter." he kindly responds as he cuts up the pancake and sausage presented. 'i can do that myself...' "sir. i can do that" i said, "it's alright, i enjoy doing this. In fact..." Felix trails off as he turns to face me, "you really don't need to do everything on your own.. just understand you are still a child and your father would like it if you were more childish. So it's okay to act childish." He concludes before he turns back to pouring some apple juice into a plastic cup.

i really liked living with father, i could be a child, and he won't get mad? i didn't want to cross that bridge and find out his mad side. His cold side is already hard to deal with...

soon, papa presented himself his clothes were really nice, then i suddenly looked at mine, 'i didn't even change' i felt ashamed and looked to the floor, "Felix, you can leave." father indifferently orders. i couldn't help but feel sorry for Felix, he's so nice and this is how father treats him... "good morning. Sofia," father says nonchalantly as he takes a seat on the corner of me, "...good morning, sir" i said i didn't want to upset him further calling him 'papa' when i looked to father his eyes darkened and he looks like he could kill someone, "from now on, refrain from addressing me as sir." father unemotionally says, i clenched the hems of my shirt.

"okay, mister" i say, then his eyes remained dark.

"..." me and him were staring at each other for what seems like a long minute

"you can't say that either."

".." i kept looking to him and he didn't budge,

"can you really not say papa or daddy?" he inquires coldly

"you don't mind if i call you papa?" i question, "no, I don't mind. you don't have to be formal with me." he retorts and the tension in the air was gone and just like that breakfast went smoothly.

"Today i will take you shopping, buy whatever you want." he starts to say, 'shopping? i never been shopping' "okay papa" "good. Just like that." he says giving me a warm smile as he gets up to give me a pat on the shoulder.

Diego

When arriving to the dining room, it felt nice seeing someone waiting for me, and it had been a wonderful feeling to eat with someone.

as my daughter addressed me so formally i kept getting irritated until we had a stare off and that's when i practically ordered her to call me 'papa' i guess i really am not like other parents, i had missed 8 years of her life so this is my way of experiencing what it feels like to be addressed as 'papa' from my own blood.

Today im definitely taking her out to go shopping, im sure she would enjoy it too. i don't know why i find it amusing to see her reactions to everything, it's always adorable.

when she finished getting ready, and changed into the other outfit, we were set to go.

i had helped her into the backseat of the car and Felix gotten into the driver side, "where to Sir?" Felix asks me and i told him to go to one of the finest stores, so we had went to versace.

i looked to my daughter and her excitement was shone through her eyes, it's clear the child's never been out in public before. My daughter kept really close to me, she was constantly to my side, i had to caution myself afraid i may step on her or that she was behind me, i found it rather cute but of course annoying.

as we made it to the children's section of versace, she clenched onto the hems of my pants really tight. "...you can let go." i casually say which i could see her redden in embarrassment, "let's look together." i say, and i picked out a baroccoflage logo t-shirt, then yellow dress. it had been obvious my child didn't have any fashion taste so i had been the one to choose clothes for her.

when we left Versace, we headed towards chanel kids clothes, i put the black and white checkered top and skirt into the cart, it had white ruffles outlining the entire outfit, winter was coming so buying winter clothes for her is a must.

It had already been 4 hours of shopping from one store to the next, i could see sofia was getting tired, "sofia. come here," i say as i open my arms for her, she looked at me confused, "i'll carry you" i say, she looked more like a 6 year old than a 8 year old, the fact she was definitely malnourished.

as i walked with my daughter in my arms, i received various glances, mostly because they have never seen me look so 'not threatening' one of the cashiers had asked if she was my sister and of course i corrected her, as always it blew people's minds that i was in fact her father. 'i was really horny back then..' i grimaced, but i wouldn't trade her for the world to change my past, in fact im happy this little angel is mine.

"baby, what do you think of this?" i said not realising what I just said, but i kept my cool as i showed her the winter coat.

"i like it papa" she says beaming at me as she kept her grasp onto me as my left arm was supporting her bum. 'being a dad.. isn't that bad.'

when it was one in the afternoon i knew it was time to stop at a restaurant to eat, "what are you hungry for?" i ask as i help her with the menu, "this!" sofia points to the image of chicken tendies with a side of fruit. "alright" i say as i tell the waiter what we'll have.

Sofia

it was really tiring going shopping, shopping wasn't fun, it was just daddy picking out clothes and people looking at us, i don't like it when people stare at me, it makes me self conscious and hate myself more, of course i know what people look at papa, he's handsome.

when lunch came i ordered chicken tendies no, daddy ordered them for me. i really wanted to thank him for buying me so much clothes that i couldn't possibly wear in a month, at the end i heard it rounded up to 8k worth of clothes.

'is papa really rich?' so i got up from my seat and went to stand in front of papa, and he raised his eyebrow in surprise, then with my two small hands i put them to his face and gave him a quick peck on the lips, which startled him.

"..." papa didn't say anything, and he was staring at me, "why did you do that?" he asks.

my eyes widened and i sat back to my seat quickly and i never felt so embarrassed, "..since it's you, i don't mind." papa continues softening his gaze and he lifts my chin up, "kissing on the lips isn't appropriate.. but since you're a child it's alright." papa explains which i nodded.

"however, don't go kissing boys, to thank them." papa says darkly.

"you can only kiss me." he ends his lecture before the check came and we left the restaurant. on the drive home i fell asleep out of exhaustion.

i was too tired to wake up when we arrived back, so i assumed daddy carried me into the mansion, and placed me onto something really soft, i went to my side and continued to sleep.

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published: 9.25.21

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