Erase Herゾごホ

相沢 - aizawa

I didn't know how much I had to lose until I was on brink of losing it all.

"ALS* needed, patient has had both her legs completely crushed, bagging* has been applied throughout the drive. We believe severe damage has been done to the C-Spine*, patient is in critical condition, no signs of regaining consciousness."

I stumbled forward, pushing past the doctors crowding the hallway, trying to keep up with the paramedics that were rolling the stretcher. How? She was just in my arms. She was just within my fucking grasp.

"BPM?"

A loud sigh sounded from the man in a blue hat with a bleak expression on his face.

"Bad."

A cold sweat formed on my forehead as I stared at the broken and bleeding girl that was sprawled out on the uncomfortable looking stretcher. Her chest was rising and falling at an abnormally slow rate as a different man, with a different blue hat, squeezed a breathing mechanism over her mouth at a steady pace to regulate her breaths. But it didn't look like it was helping. They rolled her passed a pair of double doors and that's where a couple of nurses stopped me.

"Sir, I'm sorry but you can't go any further."

"No, I need to see her."

"We will let you know the status of the patient when-."

"No, I need to see her, you don't understand." I increased my tone, my hand wrapping around the arm of the nurse that held me back. She's all I have.

"Sir, I will have to call security."

"You don't get it!" I shouted, pushing the nurse away angrily. The nurse frowned, her eyebrows furrowing down with a sigh. Don't look at me like that. Don't look at me like someone who is holding onto false hope. I'm not some victim in this dull and boring waiting room. She will be fine. I know she will be.

"I will keep you updated." She has to be fine.

And just like that I was left alone in the waiting room without a single trace of her even being in the same building. My eye twitched as I pulled my frazzled black hair into a bun with a sigh. What the fuck. I wandered over to an empty chair pressed against a dull blue wall with an old time tv droning the news lowly over the rush of hospital noises. I peered over at the screen, the blur of the scene at the mall still plastered all over it. The building had finally crumbled to a pile of rocks, and a rescue team was still scavenging through the wreckage for survivors.

No fatalities.

Why'd you go and run in there like an idiot, (y/n)? How can you be so reckless?

"A current UA student seemed to save not only the little girl who couldn't control her own quirk, but close to fifty employees who were still trapped in the building at the time of the disaster."

I felt my lips purse into a scowl. Lucky them.

"Reporters on the scene said the student, used her support technology and quick thinking to stop the girls power and ultimately save the day."

Well, your tech is getting the attention it deserves, (y/n).

"The student who goes by Todoroki (y/n), and is said to be Endeavors estranged daughter, is still in critical condition and reports on her current status is unknown."

"(Y/n)? Isn't that the girl who killed her mother because of she couldn't control her own quirk?" A whisper was heard over the reception desk of this sickly clean hospital. I glared over at the woman who's eyes quickly met mine. She turned away, her face flushing a bright red. I rubbed my eyes frustratedly. (Y/n), you fucking idiot. I rested my hands in my lap, staring at them as my fingers gently curled, wishing I was holding your head in my arms. My touch entangled with your soft, (h/c) hair. God damn it. I rose to my feet, slouching, as I made my through the hospital.

I slinked through the halls aimlessly, listening the chatter of nurses and doctors. I just want to see you one more time. My mind flashed to your soft smile, the way your gentle laugh sounded... I think that easily became my favorite sound in the world. How you smelled, how you naturally smelled. Usually a tinge of lavender circling your aroma and after sex, a hint of sweat. The way you tilted your head to the side and hummed my name. The way you moaned my name in that teasing little tone. I crave you. I walked up to a coffee machine in an isolated corner of the corridor. I dug out my wallet from my pocket, hastily inserting the correct amount of change, and tiredly watched as the steaming brown liquid poured in a shitty disposable cup. If I had known, I would've said more this morning. I would've said anything more. I would've told you how beautiful you looked one more time, or how your voice sounded like honey drizzled over guitar strings. I would've said anything.

The machine dinged and I sniffled, wiping my nose as I scooped up the (probably bland) coffee. I brought the hot drink to my lips, not bothering to wait till it cooled, and walked back to the waiting room, replaying the scenes from this morning in my head once more. Why didn't I tell you how happy I was that you were in my arms? Or how the expression you got on your face as you spoke about your tech was probably the most brilliant I had ever seen anybody look? I scrunched up my nose instinctively. You used to do that a lot. I guess I'm picking up on your troublesome habits. I sighed, feeling a heaviness lumping in throat.

Her legs are completely crushed.

"Shotaaaa! You always pick old horror movies! Can't you pick anything else?!"

Her spine was severely injured.

"I don't necessarily think heroes are bad, just ones that aren't you, Shota."

The lacerations on her hands and knees showed she was crawling over broken glass repeatedly.

"Aizawaaaa-Sensei, how do I look?"

Possible brain damage.

"Will you be my hero, Shota?"

I blinked, feeling a rather unfamiliar stinging heat around my eyes as I sat back down in the chair I was in before, the news now having moved onto more ground breaking things like, 'All Might eats Rice Balls'. I ran my itchy, black sleeve across my eyes. I'm crying. Ah. That's what this is. I touched my cheek with my cold hand, rubbing the wetness in between my fingers with such curiosity. It's been years since I've done this. I frowned at the feeling. You've made me more human than I've been in a long time, (y/n). I stared over the rim of my cup, watching the almost black liquid lightly swirl with my movements.

I wonder what you thought of when you were trapped under a rock that was more than triple your weight.

I wonder if you thought of me.

I wonder if you thought you were going to die with unfinished things and unsaid words.

While your ribs were being cracked against a cruel pavement as you shielded a girl you didn't even know from certain death, I wonder if you thought about our time together.

I wonder if the thought of me warmed you to your core when you lost feeling in your legs.

As you laid there, thinking these were your last moments, I wonder if you thought of me.

Because I know.

I'm certain.

You will be the last thing on my mind before I die.

And I'm okay with that.

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*ALS: Advanced Life Support
*Bagging: When a BVM is used to breathe for the victim/patient who can not do so themself.
*C-Spine: Cervical Vertebrae
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Hey! Surprise Aizawa POV. Thanks for all the comments and reads. It honestly makes my days to know someone is enjoying something I wrote :)