Hongjoong had never felt like this before around y/n, well there was that one time... that one smile at the sandy beach when they both decided to leave. That one time his heart started beating rapidly.
But it never happened again...until now
The smiled on her face seemed to make his heart hum in happiness and he felt his hands getting sweaty as he had suddenly realized his own feelings, or more like his feelings hit him in the face like a brick
He liked y/n
Hongjoong felt his face heat up as y/n looked up at him and she smiled as she spoke "should we go then" and hongjoong simply nodded his head since he couldn't find the words to reply
He was trying to calm his rapidly beating heart as the two walked together down the street but at the same time he kept thinking about seonghwa and yeonsoo, the way y/n smiled at the couple so easily made hongjoong think...maybe she was over him.
"hongjoong, is something wrong" y/n asked and hongjoong found himself asking the one question he desperately wanted to know the answer to "do you still have feelings for seonghwa"
He watched as y/n's eyebrows raised in surprise but soon her expression changed as a soft sad smiled formed on her face "you know it's harder than I thought it would be to get over him. It still hurts seeing him with her, but I hope that one day my heart will fully heal...sorry that was so cheesy"
Hongjoong felt his heart race again and he blurted out "it will heal, one day"
Hongjoong panicked as he had no idea why he had blurted out the words, however, he knew deep down it was because he didn't want to see y/n hurting anymore, he just wanted her to be happy...maybe, maybe this was love.
A part of hongjoong had started feeling something for y/n the moment back at the cabin, the moment he saw her smiling so brightly... it just took until now to realize how he felt
So hongjoong took a deep breath as he looked at the clearly confused y/n "I would never make you wait, I know it's kind of crazy. we've only know each other for a little over a month now...but I meant what I said before, the day we left to come back to the city. I just...I hate seeing you so hurt as you wait for him all the time. I know I have feelings for you and I know it's sudden, but y/n what do you think about us. How about we try, to fall in love" Hongjoong had no idea where the confidence came from, but he just wanted to see that genuine smile of her face again.
Y/n seemed stunned by his words but soon she was smiling and hongjoongs heart almost stopped right there as he stared at her, he thought she looked beautiful
"I'm willing to try if you are...to fall in love" hongjoong added while he stared at her with a serious expression as he felt his heart beat louder. He then thought about the way she easily smiled in front of seonghwa again and the same thought came to mind...
Maybe she was okay
Y/n smiled seemed to drop as her eyes wandered to the side and the strong happy spark in her eyes seemed to fade almost instantly as a pained expression formed on her face. Then she softly spoke "I'm sorry hongjoong"
Hongjoongs heart seemed to shatter as he slowly turned his head to see what she seemed to be staring at and his eyes fell on many bright lights in a large park front.
The parks bare trees were covered in lights carefully and delicately wrapped around the trees, it was beautiful. However, hongjoong was focused on y/n's eyes, they watered as she looked at the lights and hongjoong knew
She wasn't okay...and most of all she was still in love with seonghwa. She just hid it really well, but as she stared at the lights something in her seemed to break as the mask that even fooled hongjoong had crumbled away
As she turned to look at hongjoong with teary eyes he already knew what she was going to say
"hongjoong, I'm sorry. You are truly an amazing person, and...I'll say what you said to me that day. You deserve better" y/n said and hongjoong felt his heart twist as a sad smiled formed on her face
"you deserve so much better than someone who won't be able to love you fully. You deserve so much better than to be with someone who can't give their whole heart to you. You deserve better than me hongjoong" she spoke out and hongjoong felt a sad smile form on his face as well
"I really tried to forget about seonghwa, but it seems like feeling's don't fade so easily. I'm truly sorry, that I can't love you" y/n gently squeezed hongjoongs hand and he felt his heart warm slightly despite the aching feeling.
It still hurt, even though he knew she would say it. Even though he knew it was coming.
Hongjoong huffed as he forced a smile "I knew this would happen, well I guess I give up..." he said as y/n smiled at him and she gently took a few steps away from him. Hongjoong didn't mean it, every part of him didn't want to give up, but as he looked into y/n's eyes he knew that it was useless. He knew that she loved seonghwa and he couldn't have her heart.
"I can walk you home" hongjoong said but y/n smiled again as she looked at the bright lights covering the trees "I think I'll look at the lights a little longer. They are really beautiful" and hongjoong felt his heart constrict in pain. The spark in her eyes as she admired the lights made him feel like his heart was broken all over again because he knew that y/n was waiting for him.
No matter how much it hurt her, she was waiting for seonghwa, again.
YOU ARE READING
Waiting | Ateez Seonghwa x reader
Teen Fictionateez college au| Y/n was always by seonghwas side, it made sense since she was his best friend. However, she was always waiting by his side for other reasons than just being a good friend...she was always waiting and hoping that some day he would r...
