You ran down the stairs and pushed through the crowd of people as you wiped away the few tears that formed in your eyes.
As soon as you felt the cool air from outside you shivered slightly, but it felt like you could finally breath. Then suddenly you felt so cold and empty, it was like your heart shut down and you found yourself unable to process what had just happened.
But there was one thing you could understand, you had ended up telling seonghwa you would wait for him, again.
You were always just waiting.
You sighed as you walked across the bumpy sand to the cabin your were staying at. You had just wanted to be alone... You climbed up the small stairs and you turned tried to open the front door but it didn't budge.
"does everything hate me, I already had a shitty day" you spoke aloud and all of the sudden your emotions overcame you as you found yourself getting extremely angry
You kicked the door a few times as you yelled "s-stupid door, stupid party, s-stupid feelings" then all of the anger you felt turned to pure heartbreak as you felt the tears you had been keeping in fall down your face.
You fell to the ground sitting on the steps of the large cabin as you sobbed finally breaking down.
"doors are really stupid aren't they, just like parties" you looked up through you blurry vision as you wiped away your tears. Your eyes met hongjoongs while he stood in front of you and he slowly sat down on the steps next to you
"w-what are you doing here, you should be enjoying the party" you breathed out forcing a small smile despite the tears hongjoong definitely just saw you shed
He sighed as he leaned back on his hands "yeah because of that" he said as he looked at you. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion by his words but a small sad smile formed on his face
"because that smile looked so fake, I was worried about you. That guy, you're friend seonghwa. He really broke your heart didn't he" hongjoong breathed out and you were embarrassed as more tears fell down your face and you sobbed
Your hands bawled into fists as you wiped away your endless tears "i-it really h-hurts" you chocked out while you clutched the fabric of your sweater right where your heart would be.
"so is that the guy, the one you talked about at the party. The one you are always waiting for" hongjoong asked while you sniffled, you slowly nodded your head as the tears somewhat stopped
"if he...if he broke your heart why did you still say you would wait for him" hongjoong spoke out and you frowned remembering how you said you would wait for seonghwa at the cabin, normally people would hear something like that and simply think you were waiting for a friend but you and hongjoong both knew there was a deeper meaning
You sniffled as you wiped your tears and spoke "because I'm an idiot who is willing to wait for him to return my feelings, even if I know it will never happen" you laughed bitterly and hongjoong shifted in his spot
"so why don't you tell him how you feel" he asked while your eyes landed on the bright star filled sky, the scenery was somewhat attempting to heal your broken heart and it was comforting
"you know I can't. Yeonsoo, that girl he was with, she is who he likes" you looked sadly at the ground while you gave a bitter smile...you felt so so bitter
"just at the begging of this year seonghwa had said he found his 'perfect girl' and I felt like I had been plunged into cold water. The person that I liked for three years of my life...my best friend had liked someone else. I was always by his side as girls confessed to him. I was always waiting for him to finally look at me like I looked at him. I thought that if I just waited and waited yeonsoo would fade from seonghwa's mind, but as he continued to talk about her over and over I realized how foolish I was. I knew the day would come when seonghwa and her became a couple, it was inevitable, but for some reason I held onto the small hope I had like a desperate idiot" you looked at the ground as tears welled up in your eyes
Then a sad smile made it's way to your face again as you continued "then without thinking I said it again... 'I'll wait for you'. No matter how hard I try my heart still drifts towards him, I just got so used to it, waiting for him. So I guess like an idiot I'm just bound to keep waiting for him" your voice was soft as you spoke out and then you heard a scuff, you looked over and saw hongjoong glaring at the ground
"why...why do you have to wait for him. He doesn't even seem to notice how you wait for him, why are you hurting yourself" he asked while you found yourself staring at the night sky above you. You carefully thought about your answer while the stars twinkled and you found yourself smiling bitterly again
"it's weird you know, for some reason I just know that I should just keep my mouth shut rather than trying to make things complicating" you breathed out knowing that if you confessed and seonghwa rejected you then your friendship would forever be different
"well can't you just be selfish for once" hongjoong asked and your heart stopped at his words as you slowly looked at him seeing the soft expression on his face
You sighed while you turned away from him and looked at the stars again "that's the thing, I just want him to be happy, every piece of me just wants to see him smiling, wants to see him laugh. I can't find it in me to be selfish because I truly only wish for his happiness. I guess that's what love does to you, it makes you push aside your own aching and shattering heart just to make sure the other person is smiling and happy"
You then turned to hongjoong as a bright genuine smile appeared on your face as tears fell down your face and you finally confessed... just not to the person you thought you would
"I just want seonghwa to be happy...because I love him"
YOU ARE READING
Waiting | Ateez Seonghwa x reader
Teen Fictionateez college au| Y/n was always by seonghwas side, it made sense since she was his best friend. However, she was always waiting by his side for other reasons than just being a good friend...she was always waiting and hoping that some day he would r...
