Waiting | Ateez Seonghwa x reader

15 ~ Surprise

You entered the crowded party once again, you knew seonghwa was in here somewhere for sans 'surprise', you had wondered what it was but for now you would have to find the two first. The beat of the loud music seemed to mimic your rapidly beating heart as you searched through the crowd of people. 

You had searched the crowd for a while now but you hadn't found seonghwa. You furrowed your eyebrows in frustration but soon you saw two familiar faces. You pushed through the crowd and stumbled over to the two and tapped their shoulders to get their attention

"hey, have you guys seen seonghwa or san" you screamed over the music when they turned around to face you

"seonghwa or san, no I haven't seen them" yeosang said while him and jongho were both looking around the room for said two. You then frowned but spoke "that's fine, I'll just keep looking" you then moved in the crowd again as your heart was still beating fast still thinking about why you had come back to the party 

"good, don't want you running off with him"

You would just ask about it, it wasn't anything serious... well you tried to convince yourself it wasn't anything serious. You looked at the staircase and you wondered if seonghwa went up there with san, you traveled to the stairs and as you climbed them...it hit you.

Wait...if you asked what he meant would that mean you were technically confessing

You felt your mouth go dry while you got nervous and all the courage you had suddenly disappeared when you thought about the fact that you were confessing. So you took in a deep breath as you looked up the staircase and you decided

You would turn back

But just as you were about to turn to leave you saw a familiar face.

San smiled at you, his cute dimples somewhat easing the nervous feeling in your chest. You really wanted to turn back but you were so close, you knew seonghwa wasn't far from san. You had been set on going back and you could just forget about practically confessing after three years...but for some reason you spoke without thinking 

"seonghwa, do y-you know where he is" san smiled at you brighter as he ran down the staircase and he grabbed your wrist. Well there was no going back now, you were dragged up the rest of the stairs while san spoke

"I think he liked the 'surprise', I never though they would be here too but apparently she came with her friends-oh he did like the surprise" before you could ask about san words and what this 'surprise' was he was already smiling as he looked up at the top of the stairs. Your eyes followed his and at the top of the stairs at the small hallway there stood seonghwa...and he was kissing yeonsoo.

Your heart shattered into pieces, you stood there dumbfounded as san smiled "I know he liked her since he always talked about how she was his 'ideal girl' or whatever. I saw her at the party since she came with a couple of friends so I knew seonghwa would want to see her, didn't expect them to kiss though" san chuckled 

You felt like you couldn't breath and then you heard the flushing sound, you looked over as a door opened and hongjoong walked out of the upstairs bathroom and he saw seonghwa and yeonsoo kissing.

Seonghwa pulled away from the kiss and he turned to hongjoong with an embarrassed expression and yeonsoo looked at the floor with a slight blush. Hongjoons eyes then landed on you and you stared back at him.

Then slowly seonghwa and yeonsoo turned their heads to look where hongjoons was focused and they saw you with san at the top of the staircase. It felt like your heart was breaking again when you saw seonghwa and you slowly closed your hand into a fist as you tried to desperately hold in your tears

"so are you two together" san asked happily from beside you while yeonsoo blushed "well yes, we agreed to start officially dating as a couple"

Oh... you didn't know why it hurt this much. You had secretly tried to prepare your heart for three years knowing one day seonghwa would end up with someone else, for the day you truly realized he would never like you back. Heck, even when seonghwa told you he found his 'perfect girl' in yeonsoo you tried to prepare yourself further, so why did this hurt so much.

Maybe it was because only moments before you found yourself trying to convince yourself that you had a chance at being with seonghwa, that maybe he liked you back.

Well either way you clearly weren't prepared since you felt like you couldn't breath and something was crushing your heart as you stood in front of the new couple

You weren't prepared for the heart break.

Your hands were shaking slightly so you quickly hid them behind your back and you stared at the ground not wanting to look up.

You had always prepared for this... 

Just say it, you knew this would happen, just say the words you need to say...that you planed. Stop being an idiot and don't cry

You internally scolded yourself as you slowly took a deep breath and then it happened, the biggest smiled was plastered on your face as you looked up at the couple. Your smile never faltered as you spoke the words you had always planed since you knew this day would come...you knew

"seonghwa...I'm happy for you" you said, you were proud of yourself as your voice never wavered and you sounded genuinely happy. 

"yeah me too" san smiled and you smiled up at seonghwa, then he gave a small smile back as you noticed his hand holding yeonsoo's and you smiled brighter

Just ignore the pain in your heart 

You told yourself as you smiled up at them but the fake smile could only last so long. You found yourself frowning and you knew your broken heart had taken over and you felt tears form in your eyes.

You moved quickly as you laughed while you lifted your hand and hid your teary eyes as you spoke "b-but gross. I don't ever want to see you kissing someone again" you meant it, you never did. You don't think your heart could handle it

You then dramatically turned around away from everyone as you looked down at the staircase, a single tear managed to escape but you held in the sobs trying to break free. You just wanted to break down but you couldn't let seonghwa see

"I should go before I throw up. I'll wait for you back at the cabin" you manged a joking tone as you somehow stopped the flow of tears threatening to spill from your eyes as you walked down the staircase. Then when you were in the safety of the crowded party again you let the tears fall as you ran.