Language!-Fandom Madness

They~A Non-Binary FAQ

"Hey! My name is Mars and my pronouns are he/him. What about you?"

"My name is Rudy and my pronouns are they/them. Thanks for asking!"

If they tell you their pronouns, use them!

Do non-binary people want to physically transition?

Again, it depends on the person and their personal preference. Some do, and some don't. Some, like myself, are comfortable and happy in their bodies and don't feel a need to transition. Those who do are just as valid as everyone else. 

What if someone I know wants to be called by a different name because they've transitioned or begun using a different gender identity?

This is so easy. Call them by it! It may take time and a couple of reminders, but please do. It's one of the simplest things you can do to make anyone feel valid. 

How can I best support non-binary people?

Believe it or not, just treat us like people. I know, I know, it's absolutely absurd. 

But, seriously. 

We're all only human. We're all just as valid as the next person.

If you have a kid or plan to have kids, what do you want them to call you?

This should be a discussion that you have with your significant other. Will your kid(s) call you mom? Dad? Parent? Just use your name? I've said this time and time again, so, I'll say it again. 

It's how you feel. Nini, Bibi, Muddy, Maddy, Moddy, Zaza, Parent, Per, Par, Baba; the list goes on and on. 

In my opinion, if my kid(s) call me something other than what I've listed (ie. they come up with a nickname of their own) and I'm comfortable with it, they can use it. I call my grandmother Nonny because I came up with it as a baby and refused to use another name. 

Where/How do you shop for clothes? Where should I go to get clothes for them?

This, again, depends on how they feel comfortable. Personally, I go for an androgynous look. This means I wear a mix of men's and women's clothing. Ask them how they want to dress and go from there. 

Do all non-binaries wear a binder?

Nope. Some do, others don't. If someone identifies as non-binary and feels dysphoric (I'll get into that next), they may wear a binder or look for ways to medically transition. From time to time, I do wear a binder. 

If someone you know is purchasing a binder, please make sure they know the safety precautions and guidelines for wearing one. It's extremely important, and we all want everyone to be safe and be the amazing people we are.

What is dysphoria?

 Dysphoria is a profound state of unease or dissatisfaction. In a psychiatric context, dysphoria may accompany depression, anxiety, or agitation. Gender dysphoria is when a person feels immense stress because their innate gender identity does not match up to the gender they were assigned at birth.

There are three main types of dysphoria:

> Physical - a person feels distress because their physical features don't match up with the gender they truly are.

> Social - a person feels distress in social situations, due to worries of being misgendered. This includes the wrong pronouns and being what's known as deadnamed, or being called their name they used to use before transitioning or coming out as non-binary, transgender, genderfluid, etc.

> Mental/Emotional - the feelings a person experiences when dealing with worries about their transition, and the disconnect between their true gender and the gender they were assigned at birth. This can be seen more so with those who are transgender, but also with those who are non-binary, genderfluid, etc. 

What can I do as a family member, significant other, or friend to help those who are feeling dysphoric?

Try and assure them that what they're feeling will pass and who they see themselves is true. You are a valid man, woman, or non-binary. Remind them who's there for them and try to understand which type of dysphoria they're experiencing. 

If there's some sort of way you can help, do so. It may be giving them space, reassuring them, or something entirely different. Dysphoria is a fact of life for those who are "different than the norm." This doesn't mean that whoever's experiencing dysphoria hates themselves all the time or constantly has fear. (This may be the case, but it's not everyone's.) 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Whoever you are, whatever you do, you're valid. YOU ARE ENOUGH. 

 You're a good person, and whatever negative feelings or situations you're experiencing will pass. I know it's hard, and I know it's scary. But you can get through this. You can do this. You're powerful, amazing, strong, and valid. You are valid. Never let anyone tell you different. In the wise words of Jared Padalecki, ALWAYS KEEP FIGHTING. 

Don't afraid to show off who you are and what you're capable of.

Know that no matter what happens, there are always people out there who LOVE you and SUPPORT you. 

And I'm one of those people!

Yes, me! Even if you don't know who I am personally, I'm here to give you all the support, love, and validation you need. That's what I do as a writer.

I give you some sort of place to feel like, somehow, you belong. And if I can at least do that, then that's enough. 

Thank you for reading, and stay wonderful! 

~ Mick