Language!-Fandom Madness

They~A Non-Binary FAQ

Hello guys, gals, and non-binary pals! This is a quick 'Frequently Asked Questions' in terms of being non-binary. Please take the time to read it and ask any questions I didn't answer.

Let's start easy: What does non-binary mean?/ What is non-binary? 

By dictionary definition, non-binary means denoting or relating to a gender or sexual identity that is not defined in terms of traditional binary oppositions such as male and female or homosexual and heterosexual.

So, to put it simpler, non-binary means identifying as neither female or male. 

Why would a nonbinary person keep/choose a traditionally feminine or masculine name?

It all comes down to preference and how someone wants to be identified. For example, my real name is McKenzie. Because of how I identify, I ask people to call me Mick. And, in theory, names don't have gender. It just depends on how someone wants to be seen and feel. 

What's the most important thing allies, friends, and family can do to make sure nonbinary people can be themselves in their company?

Simple question. When I introduce myself, I'll say, "Hi, my name is Mick." 

If someone doesn't ask, I won't tell them my pronouns. But, if they do, I'll say they/them. So, what can others do? Introduce me as Mick and, if someone asks, tell whomever is asking that I go by they/them pronouns. 

Don't show it off and go crazy saying whomever you're with is non-binary. They might and most likely won't be comfortable with you doing that. So, use whatever name they ask you to call them and assert their pronouns if necessary. 

What does your brain say when you ask it if you're male or female?

My brain says neither. And that's what makes me comfortable. If you're non-binary friend, family member, or significant other is comfortable telling you, they will. But don't assume that just because they wear a dress or tux that they feel feminine or masculine. Ask! Ask! Ask!

Are you allowed to wear dresses and grow beards?

Of course! Like I said earlier, it comes down to how you feel and want to identify. Beards? Makeup? Suit and Tie? Dresses? All valid! It's up to you and no one else!

Do you only date other nonbinary people?

Who you or I choose to date is an individual choice. And, depending on the relationship, gender may be the most important thing ever, not at all, or some mix in between. Who you want to date is up to you.

Some people say they feel like a man some days and a woman another. How can this be?

This is what's known as Genderfluid. Those who are Genderfluid have pronouns that change based on how they feel. For a little over two years, I was Genderfluid. Some people found it confusing, but it's just another way that people identify. Note that being Genderfluid is NOT the same thing as being non-binary. 

Enby? What's that?

This is just slang for non-binary. Some don't mind it while others hate it. I personally don't care, but others do. So, make sure you ask about using it before you do. 

What pronouns do nonbinary people use?

Most non-binary people use the pronouns they/them, including myself. Although, others may use variations such as they/she or they/he. You can make non-binary people feel more comfortable by addressing your pronouns even if they're "obvious." For example: