The reason why.

Silence

Gracie's point of view

Silence 

My thoughts were destroying me. I tried not to think but silence was a killer too.-- Unknown

Silence was the only the thing dancing around in the air, filling each and every empty room, waiting to be filled with someone, with anyone. All my brothers were out at a party, while my dad was down at the local bar. I stared at my now bare room, my room that was once filled with so much life, but my room died when my mom died, and along with them a piece of myself. I glanced down at the four neatly written letters in my hand, ready to be delivered. I walk out of my room, not giving it a second looking. I slide each letter under every ones door, waiting for them be read in the morning. I stopped at my dad's door, the door I would go in and out of the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep, my tiny feet would be tip toeing across the hard wood floor then be kissed by the soft carpet . I rested my head against the old white door, closing my eyes. "I'm sorry" I whisper before bending down and sliding his letter under. I walked down the stairs with my bag hitting my back with each step. Excitement filling inside me as I get closer and closer to the door. I peaked out the door to see my taxi driver on his phone, lighting up his middle aged face. I opened the door, letting the warm summer midnight air hit my skin. Kissing my skin as I walk outside to be greeted by the stars. Each one shining like they have a purpose, like they have something to live for. I walk over to my taxi driver send him a fake smile and get in the car. Watching everything I ever knew disappear before me eyes, everything I ever loved, ever cherished was gone, and it felt amazing. I was finally free from my pain, from my darkness. And as I drove away I felt everything, all my memories, all my tears, all my screams were finally gone. 

I can't tell you why leaving was the answer because to be honest it wasn't. Everyone always says " don't runaway, face your problems" but those people know shit! Because I've tried, I've tried to explain what happened, I tried to get them to understand that I was breaking. But they just didn't listen, and I was crumbling to the ground as they grew. As they were moving on, I was moving backwards, getting lost in what happened. I have been living with my pain for so long and I've been hurting, but now I'm gone, a ghost of somebody that was so broken, of some body that was hurt and filled with pain, but I'm so done with being that person. I'm so ready to be happy. Have you ever been so caught up in something you didn't realize the things around you were moving. And as they were moving you stayed put. Have you ever felt like the worst thing that happened to you, and you were constantly in that pain even as the events moved on. I have felt like that for 4 years. I've been so broken and hurt that I forgot how to be happy, I actually forgot how to be happy. That should never happen, to anyone. It's a human nature to feel that joy and warmth but when it gets rips out of you and you become something you shouldn't be, it's not human, it's not you. It may be your voice, your face and body, all on the outside it's you, but if people care enough to look inside of you for a second, or listen to what your trying to say through the pain, It's not you. It's not your mind or your brain, it's not your joy or kindness. Yes, it's part of you to feel sad, to feel upset and to cry but when it turns into suffering everyday. When it turns to ripping your happiness out and tearing it apart,watching and feeling it disappear from your body, to feel that void of something should be there, that's when it's not okay. That's when someone should notice that you aren't okay, but when your own family doesn't that just shows how much they pay attention. 

You can always try to get them to understand, or you can except that as much as you want, need, and love them. They just don't. And I had to live with that for 4 years, and I'm tired of being unloved, unwanted, unneeded so I'm moving on. Just like them but without them, and it can either be the single best thing I've ever done or the single worst thing but either way I'm doing it. " Where to lady" the taxi driver says, looking at me through the window, I glance up to him and smile. 

" California" 

I rest my head on the window and at the dark sky. " Good night" I whisper.

Caleb's point of view

" As I'm sinking to the bottom" 

" I'm not strong enough"

" I'm begging you.... don't come after me" 

Her soft voice rang through my ears as I imagine them coming out of her mouth, her words echoing around in my head. I can't believe what I'm seeing, I'm reading over and over again the paper tighten in my grip each time. I open the door and walk out my door just as dad, Noah, and Owen appear from theirs.

" She's gone" my dad whispers

" we caused this" Noah replies 

" we pushed her in" Owen's running his hands through his hair " We fucking drove our 16 year old sister away!" he shouts, his voice was speaking but all I could her is her say " That were getting pulled apart from each other" 

" Life is like water"  they all look at me " you either float to the top or sink to the bottom"  I look up to meet they're eyes. " That's what she wrote" Noah falls to the ground, holding his knees. His baby blue eyes begin to water repeating " I'm sorry, I broke the promise" Over and over again. Tears falling out of his eyes, his shaky breath becomes slower and slower as he begins to clam down.

" We broke our promises" My dad looks at me and walks back in his room like his daughter isn't missing.

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OKAY! IT'S OUT! I know I said Monday but I couldn't wait, so I hope you enjoyed it, tell what you think, I really want to know, or if you have any ideas so please don't be afraid.

----H