The Heart of the Team

Chapter Ten

"What happened to her!"

"Somethings wrong!"

"Oh no Oh no oh no."

"She isn't breathing right!"

"Eliza! Eliza wake up!"

"Lizabeth!"

"Somebody go get help!"

Voices echoed through the dark.

"What happened?"
"We were playing baseball. She just collapsed."

"Whats with the bandages? Why does she have scars?"
"She did it to herself I tried to get her to stop!"

"Son your going to have to wait here."
"No! I'm not leaving her!"

"Come on Benny!"
"NO! Eliza!"

My eyes flew open.
White.
Everything I saw was blindingly white.

I tried to sit up but someone pushed me back against a pillow.

"Wait- what- where- i-."
"Shhhh. Shhhh honey, it'll be okay. We're gonna need some more of tha-"
The voice cut off as everything went black again.
Leaving me alone.
Lost in the darkness of the void.

It was cold.

And dark.
I was scared.

I wanted to be home.

No, I wanted to be at the sandlot.

No, I wanted to be at the Rodriguez house.

No, I wanted to be with Benny.

This strange dark place.
It was not where I wanted to be.

I was scared.

This inky black place.
It was draining me.

It was starting to hurt to think.

I wanted to be with Benny.

I looked out over the void.
Cold.
Dark.
Unforgiving.

I wanted to be back in Bennys arms.

The darkness was sucking me in.

I just want Benny.

The edge was growing closer.
And closer.
And closer.

I want Benny.

Teetering on the edge, I was so close to falling.

Maybe I should let go.

Maybe I'll just forget everything.

For.

A.

Little.

While.

My eyes opened slowly.
I winced at the harsh white light.

Blinking a few times my eyes adjusted to the light.

There was a weird noise. 
Like mechanical whirring.

It took me a moment to realize it was from the equipment hooked up around me.

There was in IV in both my arms, an air pump over my mouth and nose, and a few other things I couldn't name.

"Shes awake!"
A few nurses and Doctors entered the room.
"Whats happening?" My voice was raspy and uneven.

"I'm Dr. Quill. I need to ask you a few questions."
"I believe I need some answers first."
She smiled "Oh of course. Well we believe you passed out from a combination of offset starvation, uneven balance of exercise to eating habits, and a strange," She paused considering her next words "Well an interesting disease you have. You've been in a medically induced coma for the past two weeks."
What?
"But, but I was just playing baseball with the boys. That was only a few hours ago right? Right?"
"I know that this is a little over whelming, but you need to answer some questions that will help sort some things out okay?"
I nodded "Yeah."
"Okay first of all you partake and have partaken in self harm."
"Yes. I try not to I swear. I was clean for almost a month. Sometimes the world just gets to be to much."
She wrote something down on a paper.
"Okay, and your friends, they say your mother, the woman you live with she mistreats you?"
"A little. She isn't my real mother, she married my dad after my mom died and then he died so I still live with her. Its not that bad. Just little comments here and there, things that make me not want to eat. And- and she hit me once. Not to long ago and and and she's the reason I cut. It's cause she just wears me down little by little with all the things she says and-"
Tears started streaming down my face.
Dr. Quill rubbed my arm soothingly "It's okay. Now, you have thought about killing yourself yes?"
"Yeah. once- once or twice. I'm sorry for this." I gestured to the tears.
"It's quite alright."
A new nurse stuck her head in "A word?"
Everyone left the room for a moment "Just one second okay."
Dr. Quill spoke to the other woman outside the door for a few moments.
I watched as their shadows walked away leaving me alone again.

I really don't want to be alone again.

Time seemed to pass extremely slowly.
After what felt like hours the door opened again, and the sandlot boys poured in.

I quickly wiped the tears off of my face and forced a smile.
"Hey guys."

"I'm gonna be the first to say it. Never do something like that again Liz, you scared the hell outta us." DeNunez said from where he was standing near the head of the bed.

"Well it's not like I meant to."

Squints looked down at my arm "Why didn't you tell us?"
"Sometimes admitting you have a problem to the people you love is scarier than the problem itself."
Bertrem gave me a look "That's not a very good reason."
"It doesn't matter if its a good reason or not, its my reason."
"Yeah yeah and it means she loves us." Yeah-Yeah added.
"Awww she loves us guys!" DeNunez half cheered.
"Don't let it go to your heads."
"We won't."
"We won't." Timmy echoed.

Everyone sat in silence for a moment.
"You sure did scare us Lizzy. You shoulda seen Benny." Smalls said breaking the silence.
Ham shook his head slightly, trying to cut them off.
"Oh yeah, he was screaming and yelling. You almost fell on top of him. He started yellin, Smalls screamed. We was trying to wake you up, and you didn't wake up." Bertrum said.
"And then he just picked you up and ran, we followed him to his house, his mom called the ambulance. He wouldn't put you down till they came. Kept mumbling things. Tried to get in the ambulance with you, we had to stop him from chasing it down the block." DeNunez added.
Ham sighed "He told us not to say anything you idiots."

After a while a nurse came back in "Okay boys, your gonna have to clear out now, visiting hours are ending. You can come back tomorrow."
They all said there sad goodbyes and headed out, leaving me alone.
I hate being alone.

"Okay, Lights out. Get a good nights rest, your going to have a big day tomorrow."
"Goodnight."

I couldn't help but cry.
All alone in that dark hospital room.

It seemed like I was being swallowed by the darkness again.

So I cried.

Because I was so so scared.

Thinking about it, I'm only 12, why is my life so complicated?

Crying seems like the only solution to my problems.