I was staring at the floor with intent, watching the way the spirals in the pattern of the carpet managed to keep me from thinking about stupid things for a moment. I didn’t want to think, and most certainly didn’t want to imagine what just happened or why it had just happened. Good thing I was alone because I’m sure I looked about ready to be committed to an institution with the way I was studying the ground. Maybe I looked silly, maybe even stupid but did I really care?
Surprisingly no.
Like I mentioned, I was alone. My apartment was silent, the television remaining in the off position and the one light that was on supplying the only illumination that graced my vision. I wasn’t sure why I was so nervous or anxious. Why did it matter if he came over? It wasn’t like we weren’t friends, not like he hadn’t been over before.
But it was the way he had said it. Normally Kyle didn’t call when he wanted to come over, he texted or even just showed up and said “Hey let’s go, the guys are waiting in the van!” He made me less of an introvert, made me so outgoing that I hardly knew myself. The way his personality shined from him…it was like he was some sort of sun that took away the clouds of protection I had created. It never rained when I was around him and I think the majority of it was due to that crystalline smile that managed to make my heart melt at any given moment.
He made me a better person. Hell I don’t know how I got so lucky to know him. We were just kids in high school when we had met and now we were so much more than people saw. I don’t know…maybe I am delusional and things aren’t what they seem but they have to be. If they’re not, I think I’ll lose it.
Especially since he is coming over.
Come to think of it, we had tried dating back in high school and turned out we were better friends. I don’t even think we kissed but then again if we had, I don’t know how I would forget it. Seems like it was such a long time ago at this point and with the way We Came As Romans has exploded, it’s no wonder I can’t remember silly things like that. They don’t matter any longer.
Too bad I have this awkward, yearning in my heart for him. I can’t seem to get rid of it other than by staring at stupid patterns in carpet. What kind of girl does that? Well…me apparently. I’m doing it again.
The doorbell is ringing and I am so out of it that I am barely realizing that it has buzzed twice already. Could he be here so soon?
“I’m coming, hold up,” I called as I stood, trying to knock myself out of the catatonic state I had set my brain up for.
My feet felt like lead weights because I knew it was him and I didn’t know what the hell he was up to. He was acting so out of character for being my friend and I could feel that something was wrong or at least changed. I couldn’t figure out what though. It was really starting to bug me, but I had to ignore that. The damn deadlock wasn’t listening to my fingers and I noticed it was due to my lack of attention that I couldn’t open it. I sighed and turned the bolt before opening the door.
He was just as I had expected him to be: smiling. The dark brown locks that swept over his brows caused his lightly tanned skin to pop and show the deep chocolate of his eyes. The grin on his lips was genuine, white teeth a stark contrast to his tan hide. He was wearing a black shirt with some band name on it, blue jeans on his hips and a pair of Vans strapped to his feet. The gages fit his ears perfectly, piercing here and there on his face somehow befitting his personality. I had to swallow to keep composure because it had been nearly two months since I had seen him after he’d gone on tour. Right now, I felt crazed somehow.
