To Make You Come Back To Me (EXO's KAI FANFICTION) | COMPLETED

Chapter 3: Waiting list

The intensity of the pain I am feeling right at this very moment is almost unbearable. Hearing those hurtful words from the person I value the most makes it extra painful.

I was crying the whole drive home and he didn't even do anything to calm me down. I was crying ugly inside his car, beside him but all he did was drive me home. No words of comfort. No nothing at all.

I wiped my tears with my handkerchief and immediately got out of his car the moment he pulled over our gate. I didn't look at him, nor thank him. I didn't need a ride home. I needed him to take his words back. But I know he wouldn't. And it's all my fault.

Eunkyu saw me as I entered the house. His eyes widened when he saw me in this state and walked to me. "Noona, what's wrong?" He asked, worried.

I smiled weakly and shook my head. "This is nothing. I'm just emotional because I drank a little." I replied and immediately walked to my room.

I did nothing but cried the whole night. No wink of sleep. I didn't even notice the time until Eunkyu came in and called me for breakfast.

He looked at me with wide eyes. "Noona?! Are you alright?" He asked.

I looked back at him and wiped the tears on my cheek. "I'm not going to eat breakfast." I told him as I got up and went straight to the bathroom to freshen up...even though I know it won't do anything about my physical appearance right now.

I shut the door and sighed. Today, I'm just going to find a company to work with so I could preoccupy myself with work. Or maybe I would just pretend to apply in Nildex so I could see him.

Damn. I want him back. I need him back. I know what I did was unforgivable but I'm not going to back down. My eyes are set on the goal. I want Jongin back to me. I could melt his anger with my love. I could ease the pain with my love. That, I'm certain of.

I looked at myself in the mirror and realized one thing.

When I left Korea, how miserable was Jongin? How wasted did he look? How devastated did he feel?

It hurts me that he's doing this to me now but what about him? What has he felt when I left him? Based on the bitterness in his voice last night, I know he's been through a lot of pain as well.

Four long years and I could still see the pain in his eyes. Last night, I've seen him break in front of me and I couldn't tend to look into his hurt eyes. I can't see the pain that I had caused him.

I fixed myself to make myself look presentable. I don't need to show everyone my broken self. I can just keep it to myself and pretend that I am alright. It's my own problem that I needed to fix. It's my own problem that I needed to get over with.

But will I be able to let go of Kim Jongin?

I love him. After all these times, I still love him. I wouldn't cry if I don't. I wouldn't cry if I'm alright.

I put on light make up and prepared to go down. I need to move early today since I need to get my car from the club.

"Where are you going?" Mom asked me as soon as I walked downstairs.

They are all there—my parents, Eunhyuk, Eunpyo, Eunkyu and Eunjae. They all looked at me, waiting for my response.

I smiled like nothing happened last night. "I'm going to start applying, Mom, Dad." I replied. "I'll search the whole Seoul for a job that will fit me."

Dad smiled at me. "Now, that's the spirit!" He beamed. "But you should go to Nildex first. They're the ones offering the best position for you."

I nodded. He doesn't have to say that. I am really going to Nildex to see the love of my life. I am going to only apply in Nildex because I only want to work there.