Reunion

Chapter Twelve

Confusion is determined to be a state of feeling, which makes people not think, just as I felt the moment Brian and I were slow dancing. Brian's gorgeous eyes kept staring at mine as our bodies move in sync to the rhythm of the song. The night became greater than how it began. I still had no words to express how close we were.

I couldn't deny that for the first time in a long one, I felt like I was the Lilian that wasn't sometimes insecure, and the woman that worked so much to become strong in her own body and mind.

I was confused because at times I've noticed that he never said or acted as if he was attracted to me. For all I knew, this was part of his kind personality. All this treatment was Brian being a good friend. But other times, just like the moment his hand kept wandering behind my waist, and the way he kept pushing my body, so that it was closer to his made me lack clear thoughts.

A voice kept telling me that I was crushing on him, just like a teenager would. It was so stupid of me to think that. He was never going to pursue anything with someone like me.

I know that I am not an ugly person, but also I am aware that he must have stronger standards of the people he dates, and I don't think that a plus-size chef is on the top of his list. Those were the clearer thoughts that wandered my mind, and those were the ones that made sense the most.

Not wanting to make things awkward or worst, I decided that it was time for me to go back home. This closeness was not helping my confusion.

When the song was over, I smiled. I was fairly sure I was blushing as well, but the lack of lighting on stage was a major help for hiding my embarrassment.

"Brian, thanks for everything, but it is getting late and I need to go back to Los Angeles. I will call a cab to pick me up and take me to your parents, so you don't have to leave your friends," I explained. Brian shook his head immediately and responded, "No. I invited you here, and if you are ready to go, then so am I. I will take you back to your car. That's the least I can do after everything you did today for my parents."

"Thank you," I replied. I walked towards the lounge sofa and said goodbye to everyone. Anna stood up from her spot and walked with me further from the sofa where the guys were.

"I am staying over at Matt's tonight. He is taking me hiking tomorrow," she whispered in my ear excitedly.

"Does this mean you guys are back together?" I asked, happily. She seemed happy and that made me overly excited for both. I knew there were strong feelings still from both Matt and Anna, and both deserve to try it again after years of not being together.

"Well, we are trying, but we decided to take things slow and not rush things. We already know each other so much, but both of us have been burned before and I guess we are just being smart about any possible relationship that might blossom between us. I'll wait for as long as it takes because I know he is the man for me Lil. I've loved him since I was a teenager and I've never forgotten about him. I am going to make us work and it will be amazing," she explained hopefully.

"You deserve this. He is amazing and it's obvious he still cares about you too. I am happy for both of you, and let me know if you need anything," I responded, hugging her.

I said goodbye to the guys and Anna for the second time, and then left the bar with Brian.

He took me back to his parents' house where my car was parked. I hopped out of his and walked towards mine.

"Thank you for everything Brian," I said, looking into his eyes.

"I should thank you for going with me to the bar, and for helping my parents today," he replied, smirking

"Have a goodnight, Brian," I said

"Goodnight Lilian," he replied, giving me a soft kiss on the cheek.

"I want to give you my number before you go. Please text me or call me when you get home. I will feel better knowing you made it back to L.A safe and sound," he explained. He was extremely sweet. A small hint of blush appeared in my cheeks as I nodded my head. I grabbed my phone from my purse and dialed his number when he gave it to me.

We kissed each other on the cheek one more time, and I drove off.

The night felt amazing not only because the moon and the stars were shining bright in the dark sky, but because I had a great time with Brian, Anna, and the rest of the guys. I reminded myself that I needed to take time off, so I could go out, relax, and have a good time with people that accept me for who I am. This night was the initiative I needed to take those thoughts into action.

****

Once I got home, I took a shower and got ready for bed. I lied down and grabbed my phone. I was going to call Brian to let him know I arrived safely, just like he wanted to know. I was debating with myself whether to text him or call him. I decided that I wanted to hear his voice one more time before going to sleep.

I was getting it bad for him, but he did not make things easier either. He was just that amazing.

He is just a friend. Don't get your hopes up!

Disappointed of that thought but eager to hear him anyways, I dialed his number. Brian answered by the third ring.

"Hello?" Brian asked once he picked up the call.

"Hi Brian, Lilian here, letting you know I am safe and sound in my apartment," I replied, smiling

"Hi beautiful, I am glad you are. Was it a good drive?" he responded.

"It was. I got back in time. No traffic or crazy people in the streets," I said, getting comfortable in the bed.

"Thank you for the dances. Make sure you save one for me in my parents' anniversary gathering next week," he rejoiced

I blushed at the thought of us dancing again, especially a slow song. Those were the ones I was admiring the most. He was a great dancer, something that I wasn't.

"I have two left feet. I don't even know how you haven't noticed yet," I replied, laughing. I could hear the small laugh coming from him on the other line.

"You are a great dance partner, so don't think badly of yourself," he said.

Something that was supposed to be a quick call to let him know, that I got home safe, turned out to be a three-hour conversation about each other. He spoke about the many experiences he had while touring with the band. Some of them were good, others bad, and most were simply crazy. Being a musician surely had its perks. We laughed the whole time he was expressing the details of the crazier experiences.

We also talked a little about Jimmy. Since that was still a sore subject for him and his friends because they were coping with it, he said it felt good talking about him with me.

I told him that he would always be in his heart, and the best way to cope with a loss was to remember the good times they all shared.

Overall, we mostly spoke about him, because I was very intrigued to know his interest and about his life. I wanted him to talk forever. Hearing his voice made me feel peaceful and relaxed which I didn't feel often because of stress surrounding work. I knew I had to get up early tomorrow for work, for I opted to end the conversation even though I didn't want to.

"Brian, this has been an interesting and fun conversation. Thank you so much for sharing those details with me," I said, smiling.

"No problem. I enjoy talking to you and I hope we can do it again, soon," he responded softly.

"I have to go now. If I don't go to sleep now, I will never wake up for work," I said, standing from the bed.

"Have a goodnight Lilian, and sweet dreams, beautiful. Hope to talk to you soon," he said, making me blush.

"Goodnight Brian. I hope we can talk soon as well," I replied before we both hung up.

It was one of the best nights of my life. I went to the bathroom and did my nightly routine. I went back to the bed and drifted off to sleep, thinking about him.