Song of the Chapter- Lay Me Down by Sam Smith
November 9, 2018 9:36 pm
"What," I spoke, my voice coming out harsh and croaked.
"Ms.Anderson do you need to take a seat," the officer asked.
No. No. That didn't happen. It couldn't happen.
I gulped, my head spinning, "No. No. I'm, fine. I- I." I stared ahead at him, his lips moving, but no sound escaping. Everything was mushing together, sound, time, everything. What felt like hands wrapped around my shoulders but I felt so numb to everything that I couldn't even register it. The floor began to fell heavy under neath me. This wasn't right. "Are you sure, that -that couldn't have happened. Not to Luke," I stammered, pressure forming all around my head, causing it to ache.
He nodded and continued on, "Yes. We are sure. We found the identification. The license plates, everything. His friends even said so." He continued talking but the sounds were all muffled. The pressure increased everywhere, and now a mound of a thousand pounds laid on my chest. No matter how much I didn't want to believe it, something deep inside me said otherwise. My head pounded and soon vision started to become blurred.
"Toni. I'm so sorry," a sorrow and muffled voice came from next to me. I slowly turned to see Tessie standing there, her face blank but her eyes heavy and sad. The strings that held me together finally broke within me. An ache that hurt so bad and killed me developed deep within me, in my heart.
"No. No. No, no, no, no," I whimpered, a feeling of barbed wire encasing my throat, making it hard to even speak. The tears I had tried to so desperately hold in came crashing down, staining my cheeks as they escaped. "Not Luke. Not my Luke," I squeaked, every word even more painful, especially his name. I wrapped my arms around myself, almost as if to hold my self together. "He's- he's not gone, you're wrong. He's on the trip. He's on the trip. He's safe," I repeated to myself, over and over again, the taste of salt very prominent in my mouth.
Monica grabbed my shoulders, her face contorted into a form of anger and sadness. "Toni. He's gone. Okay, he's gone, he's not coming back," she retorted, her eyebrows screwed into a look of pain.
Tessie pulled her off and barked at her, "Get off her Monica. Jesus. Don't fucking say that." She enveloped me into a tight embrace and everything finally hit me. He's gone. Monica is right. He's not coming back. He's really gone.
"He's gone, he's gone, he's fucking gone. Luke's gone. My Luke," I sobbed hysterically into her shoulder, my body shaking and starting to go limp with every word. "My love, he's gone. He's gone and I can't see him again," I sniffled, my nose now clogging from all of my tears, "I never said goodbye, I never said goodbye. He left. No, no, he can't, he can't just, leave like that. He can't." A muffle of voices circled around me, distorting everything. My heart ached more than it has in my entire life, a sizzling pain like fire tore it apart. My throat stung like it had been sliced open, my eyes sore and tired.
Tessie slowly let go of me and with that, my body dropped down to the floor. I clinged onto her legs and whimpered, "We - we had so much. We were supposed to, to have, have a family. Together. We were, we were gonna have kids. He wanted, I wanted, we wanted kids. Married, we we, were getting married." A pit twisted and turned in my stomach just at the thought. "He was, was the one. He was my love. My one love. And I lost him, I fucking lost him," I choked out in between sobs and sniffles. I buried my head into Tessie's legs, the world around me seeming to stop and crash all around me. The stinging of my eyes could never make up for the pain in my heart. Nothing could.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The moon, and the stars, are nothing without you
Your touch, your skin, where do I begin?
No words can explain, the way i'm missing you
Deny this emptiness, this hole that i'm inside
These tears, they tell their own story
You told me not to cry when you were gone
But the feeling's overwhelming, it's much too strong
Can I lay by your side, next to you, you
And make sure you're alright
I'll take care of you,
And I don't want to be here if I can't be with you tonight
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
YOU ARE READING
Bend The Rules• njh
FanfictionToni was broken after the love of her life, Luke, suddenly left her life forever. It felt like a hole was ripped through her heart. Not only did Luke's absence from Toni's life leave her with emotional distress but also some physical troubles. She b...
