Emma's POV
The Next Day
I woke up, and I couldn't stop myself from rereading Ethan's message.
Ethan: can we talk?
I didn't know what to do, and I definitely didn't respond, so I left him on read for the time being.
I walked into the kitchen, and Olivia was making breakfast, so I sat down at the counter.
"Hey, Ems. How are you this morning?"
"Ethan texted me last night."
"What did he want?" She asked, setting a plate of scrambled eggs and toast in front of me.
"He wants to talk. I just left him on read because I don't know how to feel about it. He breaks up with me, goes and fucks other girls, and now he wants to talk? What the fuck is wrong with him?" I responded, scooping a forkful of eggs into my mouth.
"I guess everyone takes breakups in different ways. I'd say that you're winning the breakup."
"What do you mean by winning the breakup?"
"He's the one who made the mistake, and he's handling it in vulgar ways while you express your pain through positive things like new choreography and focusing on school."
"Olivia, nobody 'wins the breakup'. It's a struggle for me to do anything besides staying in bed. I'm just forcing myself to because it's better for my health. Keeping myself busy just makes the pain temporarily go away. If I focus on other things, I don't have to think about him. But when I'm showering or climbing into my bed at night, I feel sick to my stomach because he's probably with someone else. I feel sick because of how much of my life I gave to him. How much of myself that I gave to him. Just because I'm handling it in a more well-behaved manner doesn't mean I'm not struggling. I let him become my everything, and because of that I feel like I have nothing left."
"You have me and Joe."
"I know that I have you and Joey. I just wish I didn't have to feel this much heartache. Maybe I would've been better off if I had just broken up with Luke and stopped dating people for the time being. Maybe my heart wouldn't be shattered right now. I feel ruined because Ethan treated me so well, but the way he turned around and broke up with me makes me wonder if he was pretending to care as much as he did. He gave me the ability to trust him, and I really trusted him. Now I don't know if I can trust any guy in a relationship. If even Ethan has the ability to act the way he's been acting since we broke up, then I don't know if anyone can truly be trusted in that capacity."
"Emma, I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better."
"Do you think I should text him back?"
"That's all your decision, hun."
I looked back at the message again.
Ethan: can we talk?
Emma: that's currently not a good idea.
"There. I told him that it's not a good idea for us to talk right now."
"Emma, it's good that you're not just going back to him because of the way you felt before. I'm glad you're doing what's right for yourself."
Ethan: let me buy you a coffee. Seriously. Anything, em. I just need to see you.
Emma: no means no, Ethan. Also my name is Emma. Not em.
Ethan: please, Emma. I want to explain myself.
"Whatever you do, Emma, don't back down." Olivia said, reading over my shoulder.
Emma: did I not already say no? Maybe you should take a hint
Ethan: Emma, come on. I'll admit that I fucked up.
Emma: yeah. You did. And now you get to be responsible for your actions! Yay accountability!
Ethan: please, can we just talk about it?
Emma: Nope
Ethan: why
Emma: you need to learn how to deal with the consequences of your actions first. Goodbye, Ethan.
With that, I clicked my phone off and put it down.
Olivia gave me a high five before giving me a hug.
"I'm proud of you, sis."
"Thanks, Liv. Do you want to go to the studio with me today?"
"Of course."
I smiled. "I'll go change and then we can go."
-
Ethan's POV
Last night, I texted Emma when I was on my way home from Kristina's place.
I just wanted to see if Emma would meet me to talk everything out. I really felt like I needed to explain everything.
I waited about five minutes before I looked at the message I sent.
Ethan: can we talk?
Read: 2:46 am
The tension in my shoulders tightened, and I went straight to my room once I got back to my place.
I couldn't sleep because I was so anxious about Emma not texting me back. In fact, I felt sick to my stomach all night.
I sat on my bed awake, and just thinking about everything going on. I hate that I hurt her.
Around 7:30 in the morning, Emma finally texted me back.
Emma: that's currently not a good idea.
Ethan: let me buy you a coffee. Seriously. Anything, em. I just need to see you.
Emma: no means no, Ethan. Also my name is Emma. Not em.
Ethan: please, Emma. I want to explain myself.
Emma: did I not already say no? Maybe you should take a hint
Ethan: Emma, come on. I'll admit that I fucked up.
Emma: yeah. You did. And now you get to be responsible for your actions! Yay accountability!
Ethan: please, can we just talk about it?
Emma: Nope
Ethan: why
Emma: you need to learn how to deal with the consequences of your actions first. Goodbye, Ethan.
I was mad for a second at that last text, but I realized that Emma was right. I couldn't be mad at her, because everything was my fault. I could only be mad at myself.
She probably hates me, but I think I know a way to at least get her to talk to me.
YOU ARE READING
there's no way | ethma
Fanfiction"The worst battle I've ever fought was between what I knew and what I was feeling."
