there's no way | ethma

Twenty Seven

Ethan's POV
Two Weeks Later

I miss Emma. It's been two weeks since we broke up, and I've been distracting myself with parties and girls, or the same consistent girl that agreed to sex with no strings attached.

Grayson's mad at me because of the ways I've been distracting myself, and he's mad that I hurt Emma.

Believe me, I'm mad at myself too.

I know that Emma's been partying too. I've seen her at a couple of them, but we haven't talked at all since the day we broke up.

I think she saw me go upstairs with Kristina. I mentally kicked myself for letting Emma find out.

I know that Joey, Olivia and Grayson are on her side, because they've been hanging out with her a lot.

Grayson's still been hanging with me, but he's bitter towards me about everything. He was the first to find out that I already started sleeping with someone.

The sex was good, and she let me go rough on her to get my anger out, so it calmed me down a little whenever I needed to calm down.

Anyway, it sucked not talking to Emma. She started going on runs without Grayson and I, making sure to completely avoid us when him and I usually would go running.

I stopped going to her dance studio to see her practice her solos, and I've seen her around, but she's been completely avoiding me.

Probably because she saw me at a party with Kristina.

I just want Emma back, but the timing is off for us, there's tension because she's avoiding me, and I hurt her, so she probably doesn't want me back.

-
Emma's POV

Olivia has been my rock through this. She even moved into my guest bedroom so that we could live together.

She's my best friend.

Now that I have to get used to my new life without Ethan, Olivia's been a big help.

I saw Ethan go upstairs with some girl at a party, and apparently he's been sleeping with her since the day we broke up.

Learning that made me feel like he just wanted me for my body while we were together, and now that he was done with me he moved on to other girls.

In my opinion, Ethan probably just wanted sex from any girl he desired, and I was in the way of that, so he used my past toxic relationship as an excuse to dump me.

I've been actively avoiding him since we broke up. I just don't think I can bare to be around him right now.

I've been hanging out with Joey and Olivia a lot, and Grayson hangs with us sometimes, but he's Ethan's identical twin, and whenever I make eye contact with Grayson, it reminds me of Ethan, and I start to miss E.

I started putting all of my focus into school, dance, dance, and more dance.

I've been spending almost every moment outside of class either at dance practice, or practicing by myself in my studio.

Inspired by the hurt I was feeling, I choreographed some new pieces, all of them being contemporary dances to sad songs.

It was just how I needed to express myself.

Other than that, Olivia and Joey have been helping me cope with the fact that Ethan and I are no longer, and that included Olivia and I eating tons of ice cream, and having lots of deep conversations.

When my parents died, Olivia was one of my biggest support systems, and she knows how to make me feel better. In fact, when my parents died was when Olivia and I truly became like sisters. We grew really close.

Her and I have been there for each other through everything since we were 12. High school, boy problems, and life.

I was grateful that she moved in with me.

I saw Ethan around a few times, and I purposefully would leave wherever I was if I saw him there.

I was thankful that he hadn't tried to text me or talk to me.

If I was gonna get through this breakup, I needed to do it with him being away from me. I knew that if we were still friends I would be even more heartbroken.

I just didn't understand why people have to break other people's hearts. I've been through two breakups in the past six months. I don't know why my heart keeps getting broken.

I miss Ethan all of the time, but I can barely even look at him without feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Things were so easy with him, that without him everything is hard.

I wish I could go back to the way I was before him and I met.

I was planning on breaking up with Luke anyway, so maybe I would've moved on from Luke and focused on being happy before I found someone.

But Ethan had to come save the day and rescue me from Luke, and now that I think about it, it's a worse situation than if I would've just been alone for awhile.

I've come to realize that Ethan is just an asshole who was acting like he loved me so that he could have my body whenever he wanted.

Yes, I loved our relationship and he treated me very well, but I'm left sitting here wondering if it was all just a facade he was putting up to get me into his bed. Maybe he wasn't the man he made me believe he was.

I'm left sitting here and wondering if I'll ever find something true. Something real.

Does love even exist? If it does will I ever find it? Why does everything I love either leave or get lost?

I don't understand any of it. Maybe I'm just meant to be alone for now.

I went to bed, and I couldn't sleep, so I got up and took a long, hot-watered shower. The water mixed with the tears on my face, so I didn't know I was crying.

When I got dressed and dried my hair before brushing my teeth and climbing back into my bed, my phone went off.

Ethan: can we talk?

I froze. I was so mad at him. I was mad, I was devastated by the way our relationships was torn to shreds, and I was confused.

So, I clicked my phone off and put it on my nightstand. I'll respond when I'm ready for it.