𝑱𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝑺𝒆𝒙, 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕? ➳ 𝑴𝒂𝒌𝒏𝒂𝒆 𝑳𝒊𝒏𝒆 🔞

56 | my last breath

I fall on my knees, surrendered.

There is a hand, it's around my neck. He's holding me, from above two black eyes look at me with a mocking grin, he laughs at me, he laughs heartily, I'm miserable and pity. He teases me, saying I'm a failure and that I don't deserve any of the women I've had in my life. He tells me that they did well to abandon me because my existence is of no use to anyone and I'm only a problem.

《Why have you forsaken me?》

I whisper the wind is the only one who can listen to me. The hum of trees is the only sound I will hear. The last live sound. But no.

I call her.

The voice mail starts again.

Her voice...

Her sweet voice that greets laughing and invites me to leave a message after the beep, I love the way she pronounces the words. Here is the last sound I want to hear. Your voice, I'm so damn pathetic, right?

I hear the sound of the beep and my mouth starts to move.

《Chaerin, it hurts so much ... it hurts. Do you know? It's wearing me out ... the pain, the loss, your presence... where is it?》

The drops of sadness marking my broken heart, I can no longer stop. Why am I crying? For myself or for her?

《I thought I was important ... for you. I really thought it ...》

I stutter other things before I end the call.

《Chaerin ... I ...》 before continuing I take a long pause, I realize that it will be the last time I'll say it.

《I love you.》

I look up as if she were in front of me and for a moment it seems to me that she is there, standing in front of me.

The black being, ㅡ my demon, ㅡ goes away. She approaches me and takes my head in her soft hands and places it on her belly.

A sense of protection and warmth pervades my body, I curl my arms around her waist, holding her close to me as if she were a lifeline.

《Don't leave me ... please don't leave me.》

She looks at me from above, a small smile decorates her lips.

She whispers to me that there is hope.
She's crying.
She whispers to me that everything will be fine.
She sobs.
She whispers to me that she loves me.

But then she disappears.

Her figure dissolves, he4 affectionate hand no longer caresses me.

《Chaerin?》

I call her again and again. But she doesn't answer, she isn't there.

《I'm here on my knees.》

Only the echo of my voice is heard.

《Are you happy at least? Mom what are you doing now?》

She does not answer. The wind does, reminding me why I'm here.

Why am I still alive?

Mom, why am I alive?

I look up to the night sky. There are a few stars, some dark clouds. No moon, I'm alone. I feel so alone...

The pain that consuming me from within is taking away that little mental lucidity that I had. Everything is misty, confused.

A drop falls on my already soaked cheek. It's going to start raining again, I don't want them to find my body wet with slime and rain. A minimum of dignity.

No, but what dignity? I ask myself.

I get back in the car, checking that the tube is firmly attached to the window with the tape that I put before. It's connected to the exhaust gas, a long pipe that runs from there to the inside where I am.

I start the car and slowly the exhaust gas is entering inside, filling everything. My head is starting to turn around, I feel it light.

I stare out, the demon is in front of my car, illuminated by the headlights. He has his arms crossed and he is happy with my choice because he knew that I would surrender to him sooner or later. Waiting for me to die to take me.

I will not last long.

My vision becomes foggy, confused and unclear images appear before me, perhaps they are the famous images you see just before you die.

I see my parents happy. Me with them as a child while they took me to the park. My friends, Jungkook and Jimin, I hope they won't take it too badly. I also see other faces of people that I have met in my life, but they fade immediately and I can't recognize them ...

My demon smiles victoriously as he watches the life that slowly comes out of me.

My head falls on the seat, I feel nauseous, my eyelids get heavy, my throat tightens and burns me, as well as the eyes. I can't take oxygen, I'm short of breath.

My last breath.

But before sinking into eternal sleep I feel a very loud thud.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

I know it's a heavy chapter, but I needed it to make you understand why he was so upset with Chaerin. I have tried to identify myself in the head of a person who has these thoughts, I apologize if in some way it may have offended you. Here Taehyung confuses his mom and Chaerin all the time, as they both abandoned him, he mixes them up.

Taehyung is facing everything at the same time, all the pain he is feeling has brought him to here and made that choice. (In the past)