Survivors Of The Lost

08

A week had passed by. Staying in that home was even more difficult than I thought. Everytime I see them happy, I missed my family so much.

Its not like Im not happy for them. Its just I miss my family more now....

Uncle started working in a garage. Although umar denied him to. Saying that the Umar's earning was more than enough. But uncle didn't agree saying that repairing vehicles was his passion and he didn't want to sit at home all day.

Currently I was washing the dishes after lunch. Ma had gone to pray. Today was a tiring day. After doing the dishes, I went into my room. I prayed. I went into ma's room and saw that she was reciting quran.

When she spotted me near the door, she called me inside. She closed the quran and kept it on the shelf. I went inside and stood beside the bed. When she sat down I went near her and laid down keeping my head on her lap. She caressed my hair. I closed my eyes at the comforting feeling.

"Something's wrong with my daughter." Ma pointed out. I opened my eyes and saw that Ma was looking at me. There was no point in lying. But I couldnt tell her my worries. I smiled at her. The smile was pained and strained.

She didnt say anything else. Just when I was about to close my eyes she spoke again.

"I think my daughter is eligible to get married now." She eyed me carefully.

Digesting my reaction carefully. She knows how this matter is still sour to my heart. I didnt want to say something inappropriate.

So I just stayed quite. I know Its high time I get married. Rayyan had married his love or thats what the rumours were said.

I was 25. Even though umar didnt say anything I know he was waiting until I get married. I closed my eyes. I took a long breath. Neither did I speak nor did ma. We stayed there like that for a good few minutes. I got up and faced ma.

"Ma Im going to stroll in the park for awhile. Will you accompany me?" I asked her.

I wanted to think for a while. Maybe she got that because she didnt question me anymore.

She shooked her head. "Umar and Umar's dad will be here anytime." I nodded at her.

I went into my room and changed into something good. I looked at my dressing table void of any makeup items. I packed all the items in wardrobe after my wedding was broken. I missed applying lip gloss to my lips. I missed adorning myself. This past 6 months my face was void of any traces of makeup except for the powder.

I removed the box of makeup from my wardrobe and rearranged it on the dressing table. Unlike setting it aside, It looked longer time to set it up. I picked up the powder and applied on my face. Unlike the other days, my face looked brighter. I applied some vaseline on my lips. This person in front of the mirror was someone else. It took me back to the time when I was a teenager. I looked much younger. But this change scared me. It terrified me to the core.

I called out to ma that Im going. Once I stepped outside I felt free. Something was seriously wrong with me. I felt very different.

The sounds of kids, traffic, the chirping birds all refreshed my ears. The aroma of coffee from a nearby cafe, the smell of soil after rain made me inhale more. The sound of me laughing sounded so foreign to my own ears. I may look like a fool right now but this feeling of freedom is amazing.

Whats the freedom from?

I didnt know.

But I was enjoying it. I laughed loudly. I walked in complete silence. The silence was comforting. I walked leisurely around the park. I bought an Ice cream for me and sat down on a nearby bench.

Its been so long since I ate Ice cream. My mind rotated around only one thing, why should I let my past affect my future? Once I was finished with my Ice Cream. I washed my hand and I again sat down. I looked at front. The sun was setting down. Light crisp light of sun caressed people's face.

I should head home now. I got up turned around when I collided with someone. I collapsed on the ground, my butt hitting the ground, my hands scratched against the grass. I moaned in pain.

I glared at the person behind this. He was tall man with 6'4 foot height. He was fair, his grey eyes staring at me in panic. His long crooked nose breathing heavily. His full pink lips opened slightly. His both side of  cheeks had 2 pink patches. Maybe from cold. He hands in mid air as if to catch me if he got a chance.

"Are you okay miss?" His voice broke me out of my trance. His voice was so deep. It was manly voice unlike rayyans voice which sounded like a teenager's voice. Why am I comparing rayyan to him.

I got up. I looked at him. I nodded at him and turned around to leave when he caught my hand. His touch tingled me, goosebumps aroused.

"Your hands are bleeding." He said, his voice lacing with concern. I turned around and politely took my hands out of his grasp. I waved my hands to dismiss the matter. "Its nothing." I told him. He nodded.

He walked passing me. His steps werent steady. Like he was drunk. Whats this feeling? Why was I feeling like this? I looked at my hand where he touched.

He looked troubled. Like he was afraid that because of him something major would happen. But It was just a scratch.

I slowly walked to my house. When I entered, I saw an extra pair of shoes near the entrance. I frowned. Its neither Umar's nor uncle's. I entered the house to find ma uncle sitting tensed, whereas umar was pacing the living room. 

"Whats wrong?" Upon hearing my voice the trio looked up. But the moment Umar looked at me. His gaze fell to my hands. He ran up to me. He took my delicate hands in his rough one and examined my hand. Ma and uncle just stood there confused but when they saw my hand they came up to me.

"What happened sweety?" Uncle asked. How much they care about me. The moment uncle called me sweety, it remembered me of my dad. He also used to be so worried. Just the thought them made my vision blurry. The happy feeling instantly crashed down. All the efforts of going to the park and chilling went to waste.

"Im fine. I just fell down." I said. Gulping down the arousing feelings. "Come I'll bandage your hands." Umar dragged me with him to his room. After getting the bandage done. We sat in silence.

"I saw an extra pair of shoes. Whose is it?" I asked him.

He looked at me and sighed. "I saw a man lying near our home entrance when I came from work. He was unconscious.

So I brought him in. Your room was closer so I had to put him there. Im sorry." He said. I sighed. I never liked someone sleeping in my room. "Its fine"  I hesitated for awhile. I didnt find it comfortable at all.

We heard something falling from my room. We ran towards the room. We saw ma and uncle already there in my room.  We saw that the person umar brought in was stumbling his way out of the house. He couldn't control himself. On his way he had pushed the porcelain doll my mom had gifted me just 2 days before she passed away.

That was closet thing I had, for her memory. I walked in slowly. Upon seeing me walk in, he stopped in his ways. He looked at me. I bent down towards where the pieces were. I picked up the broken pieces. I didnt even realise I had cut my finger until I saw the pool of blood on the floor.

Umar came to me. He was about to speak when I stopped him showing my hand. I got up with the broken pieces with blood all over them. I didnt feel pain at all.

It felt good. I deserved even more than this. I couldn't even save the gift ma had given me. I am so useless!!

Nobody dared to say a word. This was the closest thing to me. I kept the broken pieces on the study table. I turned around and looked at them. They all were looking at me. I smiled at them. But the smile was forced.

"Im sorry." That man was continuously mumbling sorry and left the house.

Pleass hit the star icon below and vote. It encourages me to write.