Survivors Of The Lost

03

I woke up to the sound of wardrobe door opening and closing. I tried to open my eyes. It felt heavy. My eyelids dropped. I tried harder but as soon as I opened my eyes I had to close it. The blinding light from the ceiling illuminated the whole room. I adjusted my eyes and opened again. This time I was able to.

I looked at my right, Ma was placing all my clothes back in the wardrobe. I remembered everything. It was like a bucket of cold water was splashed on me. My face paled. I got up. Hearing the rufling sound behind from her, Ma turned around.

"Finally you woke up." She spoke. "Yeah" my voice was hoarse due to just waking up. "I have unpacked everything. Dinner is ready and umar is also on his way. Freshen up and come down" I nodded.

I looked around my room. Ma owned a very small house. With 3 rooms with attached bathrooms, 1 living room and a small kitchen. We were not rich. But we were good in the way we were. The bed was in the middle of the room. On the right there was my wardrobe.

Next to the wardrobe there was a ceiling to floor window covered with black and white curtains. Next to that there was my dressing table filled with my belongings yet again. In the opposite of the bed there was the bathroom.

My mind wandered back to the time I first came here to stay. This was Umar's room but when I came here he moved to the another room giving me the authority to stay in this room. This was the best and the biggest room in this house.

I felt warmed. Ma and Umar did so much for me. I cant just be weak and let them down. I had to be strong. I can sort this out.

With that positive energy I went down. I secured my scarf on my head. I saw Umar already seated for dinner. Just as he was about to put the chicken into his mouth I hit his hand causing the chicken to fall into the plata.

He raised his in surrender and said "I already washed my hand said bismillah before eating." Ma and I laughed together causing him to pout.

This was our habit. In the starting when I started living here I observed that right after coming from school he would eat without washing his hand. This was my way of reminding him about it. But even after he startes working he used to do this alot but I think he has rectify his mistake.

Ma served me dinner when someone suddenly started banging the door. We were startled by noise so It took us a minute to process what was happening.
"I'll open the door." Umar said while getting up. Me and Ma nodded. I wonder who could it be in this late of the night. We were not expecting any guests.

From the dining area we could see the main door. As soon as the door opened the person pushed Umar and came inside. The figure was familiar. The realization dawned on me. It was rayyan. He was in a fury. He seemed vulnerable. His hair disheveled like he ran his hand through his hair nth time. All the past things were running in my mind. Among the fear, anger and hate there was a tiny hope. Was he sorry about what he did?

He looked around the house like a maniac. His gaze landed on me, standing near the dining table. The unshed tears made my vision blurry. But I could see the figure coming towards me. His each step increased the anxiety I was feeling.

As he reduced the distance between us, I blinked my eyes, letting the tears flow. I looked at him. His brown orbs were cold and distant. His look gave an idea of the amount rage filled inside him. I stood steadily in front of him. But inside I was shaking, shaking to vulnerability.

"Why didn't you sign the papers"? His voice was dangerously calm.

His voice gave away that he felt disgusted to talk to me. The tiny hoped that flashed through my eyes vanished the minute he started to speak.

I looked down to hide the disappointment and sadness that clouded in my eyes.

Suddenly his hand gripped my chin and made me look up. His grip was so tight that it started to hurt. Ma gasped in shock. I looked at him. He was not the rayyan I knew. He was humble, sweet, kind and loving.

From my Peripheral vision I could see umar walking towards rayyan but I made a hand gesture for him to stop. Because I know that this rayyan could even stoop so low to raise his hands to umar and Rayyan was much stronger and I didnt want umar getting hurt because of me.

I looked straight in his eyes with same hate and anger. I don't know whether it was my illusion or what but a look of shock passed through his eyes.

"Get your hands of me" surprisingly my voice sounded steady.

I looked straight into his eyes, to let him know that I'm not afraid of him.

His grip only loosened on my chin. I took the advantage of that and removed his hands. His hands fell to his sides.

The tranquility lasted only for a good few minutes but never for once he looked away from me neither did I.

"You both talk. I and umar will wait in the room." Ma nodded towards me and forcefully dragged umar to the room ignoring his pleas to stay here with me.

Rayyan started walking towards of me. I walked backwards until my back hit the wall. We both were dangerously close. He looked at me. His looks conveyed the feelings he was unable to speak out. He was angry and disappointed.

He opened his mouth closed. This happened a few times before he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Before he could say something I started speaking.

"Why?" He looked confused. This surely was not the answer he was expecting neither was I expecting to speak at all.

"After the engagement the marriage was kept for 6 months. 6 letters was exchanged. You didnt want to talk over phone, I agreed. You wanted me to not to wear t-shirts, I agreed. You didnt want me to talk to other boys, I agreed. You wanted me to grow my hair, I agreed. What else did you want me to do? Why did you do this? If you didnt want me, why marry me?" My voice wavered.

The distance between us gradually increased. He looked down. My whole world crashed down when he started speaking. His voice represented helpless.

"I never wanted to marry you. I did not write those 6 letters. I didn't tell you to stop wearing t-shirts. I didnt stop you from talking to other boys. I didnt want you to grow hair. I just married you because my dad threatened me to remove from his inheritance. His will was signed right after the Nikkah so I don't want to continue this shit. "

He didnt write those letters. He didnt demand anything from me. He didnt want to marry me. He was just playing with me the whole time to get his inheritance. Was I so easy to get played with?

"Out" He was shocked to listen me saying out to him. He just stood there looking at me confusingly.

"I said get out" this time I shouted. Hearing me shout Ma and Umar came out of the room. But I knew they were listening to us the whole time. They knew what happened.

Umar came forward. He dragged rayyan out of the house. But why didnt rayyan protest? Maybe because he understood I needed time. He understood? Strange. Umar closed the door on his face..

Ma came forward and held my hand. She was about to open her mouth when I beat her to that. I hugged her. I hugged her tightly. Unknowingly tears flowed out of my eyes. Silent tears turned to sobs. The sound of my sobs resonated across the house.

I sat down on the floor. I dont know why and how I started screaming. But they didnt stop me.

They didn't because they understood that I needed to get it out. After screaming for so long I was tired. My throat hurt. My throat was parched with thirst.

Umar came to me and lifted me from the floor and led me to the dining table. He made me sit down and served my plate. I know he wanted me to eat. I know he wanted me, not to neglect my health because of him.

I even knew he was not saying it because he was afraid hurt my feelings. They are called family. Rayyan was not worth of being called my husband. Because of that unworthy person I cannot hurt my family..
I lifted my head and smiled at both of them.

"Lets eat. Im hungry."

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