Chapter 106 - Arisa

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The last boy I cried over was Wade. It when I heard about his bike accident. I screamed at my mom to take me to the hospital to see him. I felt so helpless, so fragile, and useless. I didn't know what I would do if anything happened to him. I didn't know how I would continue with my days at school if I couldn't see him anymore. I cried so much, my entire body went into shock.

I rushed across the courtyard and made it to the soccer field, not daring to look back at Loyal Wilson. It shouldn't hurt this much. There was no point crying over someone who lied and betrayed people. That was no accident. It was intentional. Loyal was choosing a path I couldn't support. Maybe it was disappointment. Maybe it was because he shattered my expectations. I thought I finally found a partner to trust but I was wrong.

I found a willow tree to wallow under. I released the stress of my long and scarring week and allowed myself to feel everything I was suppressing. My encounter with the rooftop losers, my friendship with Matilda, my encounter with Dobberman and his goons, my kiss with Khaleel, and my feelings for the human lie detector. The memories were overwhelming and heartbreaking but I didn't let a single moment escape me. It was important to remember the hurt. It was important to accept my the pain, the sadness, and the fears that came with my experiences.

The universe decided to intervene right on time. It sent me someone to lean on. I pulled my phone out of my blazer and answered the call, accepting the sniffling and balling mess I had become.

"Angel," an excited voice answered.

"Hi dad," I cried.

"Are you crying?" he asked. "Who hurt you?"

I couldn't say anything even if I mustered up the courage to. It was just too much.

"Is it because you saw your old man calling and the emotions were just too much to handle?" His question was so ridiculous, I couldn't help but laugh. "I'm sorry for staying out of touch for so long, angel. You can give me hell, don't hold back. I'll take it all!"

I laughed and cried. "It's not you, dad. I'm not mad at you at all!"

I could hear him 'hmm-ing'. "Well, I don't know what's hurting you, angel," he said. "And maybe it's not my place to inquire, but I'm happy you're able to express your feelings instead of bottling them up. It's alright to cry. It's alright to feel defeated. As long as you remember to get back up and move forward."

"I don't know how to move forward," I complained.

My dad made some more 'hmm' sounds. "We usually never do," he said candidly. "It's hard to see when we're driving blind, but if you don't move forward then you won't be able to reach the light at the end of the tunnel."

"I miss you," I wailed, overwhelmed with nostalgia. Dad was the pillar in our family. He was the sun, the warmth, and the one we looked to when the world proved itself to be harsh and unforgiving.

"I'm so happy to hear it," dad replied. His voice was soothing and it helped me to calm my nerves. He stayed with me through the lunch break. After my tears dried out, he told me stories about Peru, and the adventures he went on with his colleagues. Then he said there wasn't a day that went by when he didn't miss me. He wanted to call me every single day but getting a good wifi connection was like landing the lottery over there.

The first warning bell chimed in the distance. "I'd better let you go, angel," dad said on cue.

"Okay," I replied sheepishly. "Thanks for calling, I'm sorry I didn't reach out sooner."

"I forgive you," he replied. "It's hard being a teenager. You'll make it up to me in your twenties, I expect."

I laughed. "You got it."

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