The Beauty in Eternity

Chapter 74.

"You have ten minutes to explain, or you're out." he shrugs, crossing his arms against his chest.

I take a deep breath in, what the hell was I thinking? I've only ever told one person my secret, Amara. One person. My person. I consider walking back out, disappearing again and leaving it be—but what good would that do me? What good would that do Amara?

"I'm about to tell you something I've only ever told one person before, and that person is Amara. I know you don't owe me anything but you have to understand that this is fucking impossible for me," I mumble, avoiding eye contact. "You may not have seen me in two years but you know me, Jake—and you know I don't talk about things. About my past. You were the one person who, before Amara, I mentioned my shitty childhood to."

He remains silent, but listens intently. He nods, clearing his throat and adjusting himself in his seat. I prepare myself, knowing that if I want to show Amara I'm back, and back for good; I need to explain why I left in the first place.

"Okay, I'll start from the beginning."

I explain everything, from the basics of my childhood to the resurfacing of my past, from the hotel room to our goodbye. I explain it all, I watch him listen in awe; I can't tell what he's thinking, I haven't stopped speaking long enough to receive an answer because it scares me shitless. I finish by explaining that I'm back, and that I didn't just leave, because I wanted to. I left because I had to. And now I'm back, and that, I'm not ready to explain.

I wait patiently for him to speak, my foot tapping against the overpriced marble floor in anticipation. He looks at me, his eyes wide, but he doesn't speak.

"Say something, before I have to tell you another of my dark and twisted secrets just to break the silence," I joke inappropriately, laughing quietly as I wait for a response.

"Why didn't you tell us?" he mumbles, it's almost inaudible with how quiet he spoke.

"Us?" I raise my brow, "No offence, Jake—but we weren't exactly the best of buddies. How the fuck am I supposed to tell you all of that? I told the only person that mattered."

I stand to my feet anxiously, "You understand why I had to do it, right? I couldn't put her in danger like that."

"I understand, Mason." he snaps, his voice not hinting even a slither of understanding. "But that doesn't change the fact you left her at her lowest point and didn't show up for two and a half years."

"I know, but-"

"Shut up, I'm telling you that I understand." he growls, putting out his hand to silence me.

"Okay."

"You know, you say you're sorry for hurting Amara, but you haven't even considered that you hurt us, too." he scoffs, a hint of hurt in his voice.

"What?" I furrow my brow.

He stands to his feet to face me. "Me, Elijah, Matt—even Jess and Rebecca."

"We weren't the 'best of buddies', as you so Mason-ly put it, but we were fucking friends, Mason—we had been for a hell of a long time. We fought, we fought constantly but we were friends and I didn't even get a goodbye." his eyes meet mine and they're filled with anger, but they're equally filled with hurt. I take a step back and succumb to the guilt I feel, not only for Amara. As I look at someone who was my friend for so long, I realise that he's hurt, too.

"I wasn't a part of whatever group we had back then, you know that." I clench my jaw.

"No, stop doing that. Everybody cared about you, and nothing was the same after you left, with not a word of a goodbye," he shakes his head in anger. "You don't get to act like we didn't care about you, Mason. You were our friend, you just didn't like to admit that."