lovesick criminal • brallon

nineteen

After questioning, they didn't have enough evidence to keep Dallon. Just the fact that he resembled a witness description -who, by the way, left town out of fear- and he picked up a hooker, wasn't enough to arrest him.

We went out to eat, had a nice evening, and went back to my house.

- - - -

Dallon's rhythmic breathing, the total darkness. The silence. These are the things I focus on. I lay on my side, staring at the wall, unable to sleep. It's been hours. My head is far too loud.

I helped a murderer evade capture. I helped a murderer. I willingly lied to the police. I willingly helped a murderer.

Tears slowly well up at the corners of my eyes. I bite my nails feverishly, feeling my chest start to tighten. I haven't had a panic attack in years. My vision blurs. I can't breathe. I willingly lied to the police to help a murderer. He kills people. I'm sleeping next to a killer. I've let a murderer into my home. I feel disgusted being so close to him. I scramble to get away from him, falling off the bed. Taking in gasping breaths, I crawl into the corner of the room, bring my knees up to my chest. I rake my nails down my arms, still struggling for air. Through my tear-blurred vision, I see a tall figure coming towards me. Dallon. "Brendon? Are you okay? What happened?" he asks, reaching towards me. "Don't touch me, you fucking murderer!" I shriek, lashing out at him and trying to get away, although I can't get any closer to the wall then I already am. "Okay, okay." the brunette says gently, backing away. I feel my head getting foggy, my vision starting to fade to black.

I wake up in our bed, surrounded by blankets. Soft light seeps through the blinds. I look down at my arms. Long red lines cover them. There's a little bit of blood on the sheets. My chest feels sore. I sit up, blinking the sleep from my eyes. Dallon isn't in the room. Oh my god, Dallon. What did I do to him? Fuck.. I can barely remember what happened last night, just that I screamed at him. He didn't even know what was wrong. I always do this. I always find a way to ruin things. I jump out of bed and race into the living room. He isn't there either, but on the kitchen table, there's a teddy bear with a note attached to it. I slowly walk over and pick up the note.

Brenny-

I thought you might need some time alone, after last night. Call me if you need anything. I love you.

-Dallon

The stuffed bear is holding chocolates and a rose, sitting next to the note. I pick it up, feeling the soft fur, and burst into tears. I stumble backwards, hitting the wall and sliding down it. Hot tears run down my cheeks as I hold the teddy bear tight in my hands, squeezing it. I yell at him. I try to hurt him. And he doesn't leave me. I treated him like shit last night, and the man gives me gifts.

Eventually I calm down. Shakily I stand up and walk into my room, still holding the bear. I get dressed, not paying much attention to what I'm putting on. My phone is on my nightstand. With trembling hands, I pick it up and unlock it, then go to Dallon's contact and press 'call.'

"D-Dallon?"

"Hey, Brenny. Everything okay?" he says softly.

"Um, n-not really, but you said to call if you need anything. I need you so bad right now D-Dal.." I say shakily.

"I'm home. Come over." Dallon replies.

"O-o-okay. I will."

Dallon's POV
I hear the key in the front door lock. Brendon has his own set. I walk back into the living room and lean against the closest wall, crossing my ankles and arms. The door opens. Brendon's face is tear-stained, his eyes red. His arms are covered in scratches. The raven-haired boy looks at me with wide eyes and takes a step towards me. Neither of us say anything. Brendon collapses into my arms, his small frame shaking. I wrap my arms around him, holding him close. With one hand, I pet his hair soothingly. "You're okay, baby boy. I've got you." I whisper. "I'm so sorry Dal. I'm so sorry." Brendon whimpers. "I-I didn't mean anything I said last night. I love you so much." he pulls away, wiping a few tears from his eyes. "I haven't had a panic attack in years, I thought it was fine, but I just kept thinking. My head wouldn't shut up." he rambles. "Come over here, babe." I coo, leading him to the couch. "What were you thinkin' about?" I ask. "T-the cops. How I l-lied to them. But I swear, this isn't your fault!" I frown. "I shouldn't have asked you to do that." I mutter. "Dallon, no. This isn't on you. I chose my actions carefully." Brendon says.

I did this..

"No, baby. You didn't."

Oh. I guess I said that out loud.

"B-but I did. I made you to lie for me." Guilt wrenches my gut. I feel sick. "I never meant to hurt you, Bren. I swear. I d-didn't think that... that this would happen." I mumble, staring at the floor. "It's okay, Dallon. It's not even your fault, but I forgive you anyways." he whispers with a weak smile, putting his hand on my bicep. "Yeah, well, you shouldn't have to forgive me!" I shout, standing up. Brendon looks up at me, fear in his dark eyes. "I hurt you, Brendon. I fucking did this. I did this, because I'm broken! Just an unfixable monster!" I continue to scream, balling up my fists.

"This is what I do, Brendon. I hurt people. It's the only thing I seem to know how to do."