The Lost Lycan

Chapter 14: We're in bald eagle territory now

"We should go to Disney land!! There is one in California right?" practically squealing as we drive past the bright city lights. I have to admit I am a little excited to be here. If I don't focus on why we are here then there are so many things to do, everything is done in the US of A. Practically every movie was produced here, all iconic eats are made to a whole new level, like chicken and waffles who does that? Americans and its celebrity central.  

"Jay I think we should focus on getting you too your family" I yawn and groan at the same time, Jordan is a buzz kill, "I doubt supernatural terrorist groups will look for us there" I mumble. But of course super hearing and both males catch it. Noah looks rather amused from the drivers seat while Jordan turns around to give me a very unamused look. 

"Jaime, this is a serious situation we are in you know, we have to be careful where we choose to go. We are putting all the people around us in danger, If they die because of us, that'll live with you for the rest of your life Jay. I don't want you to have that over your head" His expression turns soft in the end. 

"I know" I whisper dejected, "I'm just not looking forward to seeing them" My confession causes Jordan to raise a concerned eyebrow, "Why?"

Sighing I look back out the window the pretty lights and billboard catching my wandering eye, "I'm walking into their house pronouncing to be their daughter, that's fucking awkward Jordan. And even worse, they have at least a small amount of memories and emotions to my name. I have none. My brothers are going to see me as their sister, but I'm stuck in the mind set that you are my only brother. This hasn't sunk in yet" Tracing my finger along the window I sigh once again, "They will identify me as family, I will identify them as strangers"

"It's going to be hard to except all of this when it comes crashing down in front of me, it feels like I'm still living in a never ending dream"

I am also terrified to see my parents, will they even like me? what if they kick me away when they find out my lycan is dying and may be weak for the rest of my life. Will my brothers be kind? or will they find my presences threatening. 

Not to mention I am still living like a human, am I going to cope in the world I was born into? Or will I run back to the safety of the known.

I want to talk to Jordan or even Noah about my doubts, but they have been living in the supernatural world their whole lives and they know who they are. I don't. I haven't decided if I'm ok with being a lycan or if its what I want to be. I still have a small chance of being in the human world. As helpful as they are, they don't understand these feelings.

A small part of me even wants to go back, back to New Zealand, to my abusive parents, as wrong as it sounds. But I don't remember the abuse and it was my normal for so long. I talked of leaving when I started to get a whiff of what was really happening, but that was to escape to a human city, not a werewolf pack. 

Everything was just easier back then, even if it was a lie. Nothing has sunk in yet. I have accepted that I am not human because the signs are there but that doesn't mean I have accepted it fully as who I am. 

These last few days I have been strong so that my brother doesn't regret getting me away, I am thankful its just going to take awhile to accept everything. To be honest I just want a few minutes alone. So that I can cry and digest everything. I need a good cry without anyone in my face, as good as their intentions are I need to do it alone. 

Will there be anyone at White Crescent I can talk to? Someone whose human, perhaps they fell in love with a werewolf and had their world change. Or will I be alone in all of this?

I'm a car with two people I am learning to trust, and care for. Yet I feel incredibly lonely right now. 

As if sensing my sorrow I see my abused self when I look at my window, Are you here to make things worse I think to myself. I find myself internally begging her to leave me alone, I am feeling enough grief as it is. Instead I feel a strange sense of calmness rush through me. Drawing a soft gasp from my lips, the feeling soft but intense at the same time. A caress to my mind. And strangely it feels loving.