Finding Myself

37: Riley

Megan and I head to the self check out option, but it's out of order so we have to go to a cashier. I hesitate because I'm nervous to go in front of someone and buy condoms. Will they judge me?

Megan sees that its bothering me and she gently takes the condoms out of my hands and walks up to the cashier to buy them as I watch in disbelief.

"Aren't you young to get these? What would god say about you having sex now?" Asks the lady who is handing Megan the receipt.

"God would say I'm being responsible and that you should mind your own business," Megan relies back definitely before she turns to walk out of the store. I run along after her shocked at how well she handles that situation. That lady had no right to say those things.

Once we are outside, Megan hands me the condoms. She looks as tough as always, I guess what the lady said had no effect on her.

"Are you not upset with what the lady said?" I ask.

"No. She has no right to judge, she's probably doing some fucked up shit in her life that way worse than me wanting to have sex. I think that she's just jealous because she isn't getting any," she jokes.

"How are you so confident? How do you ignore what other people say about you?"

"I wasn't always like this, Riley. I used to care so much about what others said to me, I used to do whatever anyone else wanted me to do just to be liked. But that's not right, you shouldn't change yourself to make others happy. If they don't like you for being you then they don't deserve you and they aren't worth your time."

"You're not how I expected you to be," I blurt out.

"Well maybe you didn't give me a chance before. I get why, you're shy and not into sports, but if you don't open up a little you close yourself up from meeting good people. Not everyone is out to hurt you Riley, I wouldn't hurt you, okay," she comments.

"I'm sorry for not giving you a chance. If it's okay with you, I would like to be your friend, Megan."

Megan gives me a big smile before saying, "Aw come on, you don't even have to ask." She pulls me in for a hug and I'm happy. I haven't felt happy these last few things with everything going to shot, but Megan helped bring up my mood and I'm thankful for that.

After that we get back into her car so that she can drive me home. Megan and I start sharing information with each other and I come to learn we have more in common than I thought. I'm sad when we pull up in my driveway, today has turned put to be not so bad.

I say goodbye to Megan, but she doesn't let me leave just yet. She suddenly asks, "Riley, I'm sorry that i have to ask, but are you in love with Mason?"

"Yeah of course, why do you ask?"

"Well, you see," she hesitates for a few seconds before continuing, "since we are friends now we have to look out for each other, which is why I'm asking. I don't want you to make the wrong decison with Mason if you don't love him. And I guess I'm concerned because they way you act around him makes me doubt that you love him."

"What do you mean?" I ask in disbelief. Of course I love, Mason. He's everything to me.

"It's just that the way you two act around each other and the way you explain not having done anything sexual to me makes your relationship sound more like a friendship. Do you love Mason or you in love with Mason?"

"That's the same thing, Megan. I don't really see a difference," I reply.

"They aren't the same thing, Riley. Those are two very different situations. For example, I love Mason, he's a cool guy and I know I can trust him. He's awesome, but I'm not in love with him. I see him as a friend or maybe like a goody two shoes sibling, but I would never want to kiss him. So, now let's put you in the situation. Do you love Mason like I do, or do you want to passionately fuck Mason because you're in love with him?" She asks.