girl crush [ idols x idol!oc ]

girl crush [ fifty six ]

it was night. i was walking in a park, with my skateboard. since my mini album was in its last stages, i was a bit stressed and anxious for my comeback stage and all. i also kept thinking about azes and how they were doing, how they were treated. i kept thinking about the elements from the past, and of course it included both donghyuk and eunwoo. 

kicking the ground and riding my board, thoughts were starting to overflow in my mind. what did the fans think of me? what did other artists think of me, since i entered the industry? what did my friends think of me? what did i think of myself?

i stopped. tears were stinging my eyes as i decided to sit down by the side a bit. i felt lost. did i really enjoy what's happening to me right now? did i enjoy being able to do music alone, being spoiled with a comeback after only just a few months of my redebut under sm entertainment? did i deserve all the support i got from my friends, and especially taeyong who helped me with each and every step i took in my stay at sm?

clenching my fists, i let my tears fall down my cheeks. i suddenly missed my times as an azes member. i missed how it was just us, before we met with ikon and all. my life changed drastically when yg played with us, with the ikon collab and all. if i didn't accept the solo album, would things have change? if we said we didn't wanna do the collab with ikon, would things be better for us?

would i still be the same old choi sooji of azes, nation's girl crush?

"s-sooji?" called a familiar voice, which made me widen my eyes and froze on my spot.

why is he here? even more so, why am i refusing to look at him when i told myself earlier that i was gonna take a step into talking to him again?

"i'm sorry. you probably don't wanna talk right now." he muttered, starting to walk away but i stopped him.

"eunwoo!" i called, making him halt in his steps.

i slowly stood up from my sitting position, and then faced him. his hair was perfectly styled, gleaming under the moon's beams. his skin looked as milky as they were before, but i noticed how his eyes looked a bit more tired than they looked before. furrowing my brows, i stepped a bit more closer to him.

"sooji," he called, so i gave him a small smile before replying.

"have you been working harder? look at those tired eyes," i said, making him look down and shrug his shoulders.

"i guess. by the way, i wanted to tell you i'm sorry," he started, "about what i said before and all. i knew it was wrong of me, and that i didn't consider your feelings that  much when i said those words. i know this sorry is not enough, but i just wanted to tell you that i really want to be on good terms again. even sanha misses you."

there was a familiar deep well i felt in my heart. it felt as if i was sad for him, that i wanted him back in my life. but of course, it wouldn't be the same as before. 

not being able to contain it anymore, i wrapped my arms around him and spilled my tears. i knew he was take aback, but i felt his hand caressing my hair and his breathing turning even. he chuckled, its sound being a sound that i didn't know i missed.

"i'm sorry, too. i was overreacting for a bit. we can start over again, right? we can still be friends?" i asked, making him chuckle before nodding.

"of course, who am i to say no? you're gold soo, after all." he whispered, which made me grip the back of his shirt before speaking.

"i missed you, minion oppa,"

the moment was cut short when my phone started ringing, so i pulled myself away from the hug. i answered the call after he gestured for me to do so.

"sooji? you're not home?" taeyong's voice called, and i blinked rapidly.

"oh. yeah, i went out for a bit, why?" i asked, but i only heard silence for a few seconds before he gave me a reply.

"nothing, i just came to check on you. take care when you come back home, okay? i'll hang up," the way the words slipped down his tongue made me feel something was going on. 

"yeah, you-" i wasn't even able to finish my sentence when he already ended the call.

i furrowed my brows, and then breathed in and out deeply before facing eunwoo.

"i have to go, take care," i said, not wanting to bother him with my thoughts. after all, we just started talking again. i didn't wanna bother him.

"uh, okay. but are you fine? you seemed a bit upset after that call. who was that?" he replied, but i just gave him a small smile.

"taeyong, but it's fine. i was just curious about something. anyway, i have to go!"

"sooji, i-"

i went back to my board and skated away, not wanting to talk about it. i just needed to find out from johnny or from taeyong himself.