Believing In You (Blue Bloods Fanfiction)

↞ Chapter Twenty-Seven ↠

Season Three, Episode Twenty-Two

The minutes seemed to drag on, I tried to push through just to see the face of whoever the Officer was, and then I remembered the family.

I couldn't breathe as I dialed Danny, knowing that he could handle telling the rest of the family. My hands were shaking and my voice was just as bad as I tried to speak to Danny.

"You got something on Santana?" Danny offered, and I choked back a cry as I watched the doctors through a crack in the doorway work on the Officer. Something told me it wasn't Jameson, but I couldn't be sure.

"No, oh God Danny," I pressed a hand to my forehead, breathing deeply.

The joking sound was gone from Danny's voice as he spoke again. "What happened?"

"It's Jameson, he was, oh God he was shot, and they won't let me see him, I can't," My breath shuddered, "Oh God Danny."

"Woah hey, breathe kid, I'll be there soon with the rest of the family," Danny sounded just as panicked on the other end and I complied quickly taking a deep breath. "Keep us updated."

He hung up, and I nearly dropped the phone as I put it away. The nurses were filing out out of the room with the Officer and they all looked disappointed, I knew that he was gone. The tears started and they wouldn't stop, I stumbled forward, pressing a hand to the counter top next to me and calling to the Doctor.

She turned, coming towards me and offering a smile that she hoped was comforting. It wasn't.

"Was that-" I couldn't finish my sentence.

"I'm sorry, but he had lost to much blood on the ride to us, there wasn't much we could do." I felt my heart stop, and I pressed a hand to my chest. The doctor continued, "Are you Officer Cruz's family?"

And suddenly everything lined up, and I felt more awful than I had originally. "Oh god, that's, I'm," the words seemed caught in my throat. "I'm looking for Officer Reagan? Jameson Reagan, I thought-"

The doctor looked worse than I did when I told her who I was looking for and she immediately started to apologize. "Officer Reagan hasn't arrived yet, I'm sorry for scaring you." I waved her off, and she turned away, glancing at me from over her shoulder as she walked away.

The idea of the dark haired young man I had met just a few days ago laying dead in the room next door was hard for me to realize, but I felt worst at the flash of almost happiness that I felt when I realized it wasn't Jameson. Though it didn't make me feel any comfort at the realization.

I kept my eyes glued on the swinging emergency room doors, just waiting for them to open and admit a wounded Jameson.

I dug my fingers into the wood of the counter, trying to ground myself to the setting that I was in instead of letting my mind spiral into 'what if's'.

Everyone was in a flurry suddenly again, all reacting to some unseen situation. The double doors swung open admitting a bloodied body on a gurney, that I immediately pegged as Jameson's.

I wanted to run to him, but as I left the edge of the counter I felt my legs go wobbly and I caught myself again. I took a deep breath, pressing on through it and moving to the window to the trauma room. I didn't want to watch but I couldn't bring myself to look away.

The way the doctors moved could have been perceived as beautiful, their fluidity and quick movements almost like a dance, and I would have admired it, if not for it being my boyfriend they were dancing over.

They looked suddenly confident, and I realized the tears had slowed down my face, they started to push him from the room and I tried to see through the ranks of nurses and doctors to see my Jameson but could barely see his pale hands.

"Jameson!" I shouted, trying to reach for him.

Medical staff stepped in my way, their arms like stones as they pressed against me. Pushing me further and further from Jameson.

"Jameson!" I shouted once again, pushing as hard as I could against those holding me back. "Let me through!"

More hands joined those already around me, but these were familiar, kinder hands. I could just barely see Jameson at the end of the hallway, his hair in wisps on his forehead. The tears were pouring down my face as someone's hands turned me around. I fell into the hug, letting the person take all of the weight off of my shoulders.

"Is he alright? Is he alright?" The person's voice came through my ears warbled and odd, but I knew it was Erin holding me and Danny speaking.

"Officer Reagan sustained a wound to the abdomen, he has lost a substantial amount of blood, but he should be alright." The doctor spoke, and the words echoed in my ears.

He should be alright.

He should be alright.

I took in a deep breath, wrapping my arms around Erin and muttering 'thank you' over and over again. Her arms were strong, and a hand landed on my back. I pulled back, carding a hand through my hair and rubbing at the tears still pooling from my eyes. 

"God, I don't mean to be silly." I muttered, the Londoner in me not used to such a display of emotions in the public.

"Don't." Frank's voice was firm, and as I looked up at him his eyes were just as red. "Emotion isn't silly."

I nodded firmly, reaching a hand for Franks and squeezing it firmly in my own. I hoped to be comforting, though I wasn't a comfort to myself, much less others.

"He'll be alright."

Franks words were firm, and I truly believed what he was saying.

Jameson had to be alright, because if he wasn't, the family would break.