The Prison Races

Trophies

Grayson's funeral was poorly attended. Tanya was there, but her two children were not. She saved them from the truth. Daddy had died in a boating accident, and Uncle Grayson had a disease, but she decided it was not right to have her children at the funeral of a man who had slain their father.

She was out on bail with Veroce, who stood by her side as she put flowers on the grave. Her father, more grief-stricken then she imagined he would be, sobbed on his knees at the gravestone, one hand reaching out to it. Tanya helped him back to his feet.

The cool late afternoon air rolled heavy over the Pennsylvania hills. It was a beautiful day and a beautiful place to remember a tormented and flawed son. Both Tanya and her father appreciated the lengths and costs each went to in order to get Grayson home. However, two funerals in such little time had exhausted them for there oncoming legal battle.

Veroce had saved money, and the legal fees took a lot of it. They pleaded down, and the case never made it to trial. Fines and a month in jail was the ultimate punishment for the couple. Tanya's father was fine with watching the kids for that month, but the financial situation was dire after serving time.

Veroce's record was sullied, but he eventually found work. So did Tanya, and although it wasn't a luxurious life, the couple was very happy together in their two bedroom apartment with the kids and without the burdens of their past lives. It took time. It took struggle, but in all of it, they came out better than where they were stuck.

Tanya never knew about Lisbon or another Sabrina. She did remember the real Ms. Renoir, and how she weighed on Grayson's mind. She wished she had shown up at his funeral if his ghost was hanging around. He would've loved for her to be there, but few choose to attend the funeral of a homicidal maniac. In fact, the real Sabrina Renoir was more damaged by his actions than anyone in the Geff family would know.

Sabrina trusted people and was open to new and lovely things from any direction. She loved Grayson until his condition became unmanageable and damaging to her. Knowing she had seriously dated a would-be murderer made her trust and innocent view of the world crumble into pieces. She felt naïve and disconnected and pursued her future relationships extra guarded.

Still, she had kids and lived a life full of her own problems and own struggles. Grayson always remained a memory, but he faded with time. It's unfair that some who stick in the mind forget those that obsess over them. There is no equal force given to want and desperation between two people who have become separated on life's journey.

Tanya never knew about Alonzo and his gang, either. The police never connected the shooting to Grayson and Mr. Shuman, or Lisbon and Sabrina, for that matter. The timing of the arrest was expedited by the tip, and Alonzo and his gang were imprisoned for 20 years on attempted murder charges and drug possession charges.

And Grayson would never know his niece and nephew, the gentle breeze on that afternoon they laid him to rest, and what could have been.

Tanya cried for him on that hill, years after everything. She imagined him there, invisible:

"It's not fair that you got to go away. Start something like you did and then nothing. You change so much, and then you think you have nothing left to give us. You thought you wouldn't be missed? You thought we wouldn't come for you?" A thought, "Or that I wouldn't show up again to visit? You're more than you know, and you always were, are, and will be. I just wanted more, and I miss you."

A single tear fell from her eye. She smiled and laughed, "I can read your mind, remember? 'Don't cry', I heard you say." She paused. "Now who's the crazy one?"

She left the gravestone, and wouldn't return for years, but she carried him always as requested. She left with something, though. A wiser perspective that years may help one to notice, and it's not in the news, and it's not something you study. It's in experience that is only had by moving. There are steps that some are afraid to take, or perspectives that challenge our prison. Her prison, now forgotten, was broken by risk. Her happiness found by desire. Her fortune made by effort and cemented by chance only because she had moved when called to.

Grayson was flawed, and she appreciated that fact, but he will always be the one who gave her the keys to break free, to run, to change. Tanya wished, however, he had done it some other way. She wished there was some other way to inspire motion in herself and others around her. Death, prison, poverty, conflict, negative reinforcement always drive us to move, but rarely does the warmth of the sun, a smile, and a dream of something better cause us to sprint. We excuse ourselves, comfortable with the pain we think we deserve.

Our ailment is not our condition, and the races go on. Run.