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Things were okay for a while. Until they weren't. The past few weeks were good, tiring, but good. It's all coming back. It's getting bad again.
Memories came flooding from this summer, from the beginning of the school year.
October.
Everything was amazing back then. Not amazing, but passable. That's when she first started getting feelings for Mattia. And from everyone saying The more you hide your feelings for that person, the harder you fall for them.
That's when she started making tik toks to love songs.
And she didn't stop. She kept making them. And this night. Tonight. She could still feel the boy's burning touch of comfort. And admitted her feelings for him to herself.
Remembering all of the comments on all of those tik toks in the past up till now.
I've never seen someone so painfully in love with a person.
I want someone to love me this much
Never did I take Lina for a simp
Yo this girl was a simo before simp was a thing lmao
Who is it?
But she wasn't in love. Was she? She can also remember texting Hadiya about it. And the dark skinned girl always said that she had many feelings for that person. Too many. She didn't tell anyone who that was. She would never allow herself to.
He was problematic on the internet, she knew that. But in real life, he wasn't racist. Nor was he homophobic. When she came out he accepted her with ease. Even later that night he texted her apologizing if he ever made her uncomfortable with anything he said or did.
But not everyone knew that.
Ya'll are so alike tho. Both ya'll got anger issues like you're fucking bipolar. Both you bitches have hard times with feels.
Roshauns words echoed trough her head. After that Mattia and Lina started laughing, and immidiately stopped realizing that he was right. Fuck.
But people who are too alike don't match? But they were also diffirent in so many ways.
Where he was chilish and immature, she was grown, mature and more sophisticated than him. (tring not to use the word wise) She had an old soul. Is what many people said. Cause she knew almost every outcome of every possible situation. And her response always was, I've seen too many movies and TV shows.
Which wasn't a lie. She's studied the characters and looked at the details in the movie to already know how it ends with it being just in the middle.
So she started doing that with people in real life. To know when people will actually break up and never talk to eachother again. To know when friendships supposedly end and they say that its over, knowing that a week later they'll run to eachothers arms trying to fix things.
