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My hands sat crossed on my lap as I sat in the clinic debating if what I'm about to do is the right choice. I seem to be making all the wrong choices lately, nausea and dizziness hit me like a truck leaning my head back the tears come.
"Miss. Davis?" Looking at the nurse I smile and get up following her to the back. "Hi I'm Nurse Lopez I'll be working with you right now. How are you feeling?"
"Scared." I whispered
"It's okay to be scared... you know I was about your age when I had my son." She smiled hand sanitizing her hands before putting gloves on.
"Were people mad at you?"
"At first of course but it was my choice..everyone has a choice babies are a gift from god. We think of them being so much work and they are tiring but they just bring you to work harder. They remind you the world is not all bad.. my son's father cried when I told him I was pregnant." She laughed motioning for me to lift my shirt up.
"He was that upset?" I asked lifting my shirt.
"Oh no he was happy.. he felt as though everything in his life at the moment was bad that things were slowly falling apart but holding Mateo in his arms made every bad thing, everyone against us, the world around us disappear." The way she talked about her son made me smile. I want my baby so bad I want Joe there every step of the way.
"Umm can you-" before I could finish my sentence she was standing up.
"I'll be in the hall call when you're ready." She winked before walking out.
Staring at Joe's contact he called at least eight times since I left last night. I didn't go home I couldn't face my mom so I got my own room booked appointment for first thing in the morning and here I am. I'll go home tomorrow I told myself multiple times after this was done.
Clicking call I listened to it ring and ring till he finally picked up. There was laughter and talking.
"Hello?"
"Hey... before you start questioning and getting angry... I." My voice cracked and I quickly put my hand over my mouth.
"Miracle what's going on?" He says but I can't find my voice to reply. "Baby?" This time his voice cracks.
"Ayy Joe over here being a bitch!" Ben shouts in the background.
"Boy mind the business that pays you!" Kayla shouts back.
"Watch that attitude fore you get fucked up." Ben sassed and I laughed
"Can you meet me at the clinic?" Finally getting it out I feel the slight weight lift off my shoulders.
"What's wrong? Why are you at the clinic? Wait where are you? We still in Texas mamas how I'ma get to you ?" Joe rambles not letting me get a word in.
