Jay's Girl: A New Future (book two)

water works

Another week has gone by, and still, no luck. I've searched the city over a dozen times, it's like he vanished into thin air and just like I can't see air, I can't see him. I don't know if I'll ever see him again. Things seem cold and harsh now without my sun and stars, my Jaybird

"waaaake uuuup" I hear Tim groan as he shakes me in my bed, "we made this plan together, you made me agree. don't make me regret agreeing to it!" he yelled, shaking me harder.

At the beginning of this week, I decided, with the encouragement from Alfred, that I needed sleep and to get up reasonable times. Because, last week, I either never went to bed or went to bed in the wee hours of the morning and didn't really sleep. So, I Tim recruited as my sleep schedule buddy. Lord knows he doesn't have a good sleep schedule. We go to bed at ten every night, anything that would keep us up is left outside our doors. And at 6:30 every morning we both get up, but if one of us isn't up we have to wake the other up. But, don't like sleeping for it brings the nightmares and I don't have Jason to calm me after a nightmare. So, I rarely actually sleep. "I'm uuup" I groan, sitting up slowly in my bed, but without thinking, I pulled on his arm as I sat up, "ow!" he winced, pulled his arm away

"I am so sorry, Tim! I-I didn't think-" it's ok, y/n/n" he smiled as he sat down on my bed, "you don't have to apologize for everything, you know" what are you talking about? I don't apologize for everything...." I say sarcastically, not making eye contact, knowing full well I do. "y/n, look at me" I looked into Tim's blue eyes to find the 'yeah right' look, "spill" he states. I take a deep breath, for I'm about to talk about Jason and I haven't been able to talk about him without getting emotional. "It's just all my fault, I have so much to say sorry for" I start, "it's my fault you got hurt and almost died, my dad was the one who captured and hurt you, Bruce, AND Damian. I was the reason for everything that happened. and If I had just gotten over myself and gotten Jason out of there we wouldn't be in this mess" I rambled, "It's all my fault" I breathed, hot tears rolling down my cheeks. It's all my fault, no one else's. "This is why I can't be a hero. I'm too emotional" now wait a minute, that's not-" But it is, Tim!" I interrupted

I've kept this locked up for too long. "in the future, I died. I died trying to get every last human being out of a burning building." I was balling now, "I left my husband, waiting at the front of the building, waiting, just WAITING for me to come out with that one last person. But I didn't, the building exploded, with me in it, Tim! I made him go home to tell our TWO-year-old daughter that mommy wasn't coming back because she's dead! and I don't know if I'll ever have her now because of all this crap!!" I cried, tears falling like waterfalls from my eyes, "so yes, I am too emotional to be a hero".

Tim looked stunned, unsure of what to say. I sat there crying, wiping the wet off off my cheeks only for more tears to take its place. Yet, I was relieved, relieved to have finally told someone about Robin, about my death, everything. "you had a daughter?" he asked in disbelief, "yeah" I slightly giggled, "we named her Robin...after all you guys" even me? his-" yes, even after his replacement" I smiled. Tim smiled before giving me a big hug. I melted into the hug, needing it after all the pain a just talked through

But it was soon interrupted, "y/n, it's Jason!" Jon yelled as he burst through my door. My heart skipped a beat at just the mention of his name, "w-what do you mean? what about Jason?" I asked, my heart rate getting faster. "one of the sensors in the hideouts was tripped, a camera we placed in there confirms it's him" then we have to go," I said, my voice trembling. With my speed, I slipped on some dark jeans, my redhood tee, my red leather jacket, and my combat boots. I then sped downstairs to the cave, taking both boys with me. As soon as I made it downstairs, there, on the batcomputer, was an image of Jason. I froze as my breath hitched. His torn up clothes and messy raven hair with his signature white streak in it makes him unforgettable. I had hoped he hadn't changed over the past two weeks, that his whole thing was a nightmare, but it wasn't. He held himself differently, as if he was carrying more baggage then he used to. Not to mention he was moving franticly, I don't think I've ever seen him move as franticly as he is right now

"how come he came out now? after two weeks?" I asked weakly, "it's protocol in the league to lay low for two weeks after being seen or caught," Damian explains. I can't muster any more words, I just watch Jason through a camera, amazed to even be seeing him. "I can't believe this, how did this even happen!?" I could hear him mumble as he stuffed some clothes in a duffle bag, "Thalia is just testing me, this was all just a test to see how I'd react to seeing Bruce again. right? even so, I HAVE to get out of this retched city" he said to himself as he grabbed a burner phone, "but who was that girl? she acted like she knew me, but I've never even met her" he kept mumbling as he grabbed things, but I was too broken to listen. It just faded into an echo of his voice in my head saying "who was she" and "I've never met her"

"He really doesn't remember me,"