Jay's Girl: A New Future (book two)

the absence of feeling

After woke up Tim I spent the days absent of any feeling, whether it be physical or emotional, I have none. I haven't slept which has given me under-eye bags that put Tim's eye-bags to shame. I haven't eaten or drank much so I've lost a few pounds. And the killer one, I haven't changed clothes nor taken a shower in I don't know how long, which probably means I stink. But do I care? absolutely not. Bruce says that over the years the Bat-team has found and rigged all of the League hideouts in Gotham, so if Jason uses any of them, which Bruce belives he will, then we'll know.  Here I sit, in front of the batcomputer,  in my Redhood tee and dirty Jason basketball shorts waiting, waiting for it to go off saying Jason was safe and in one of the hideouts. "Bruce, I think it'd be best to talk to her now, this is getting out of hand and you are her father" I hear Alfred suggest behind me, "she hasn't eaten, slept, or even left the cave in a week" I know" Bruce sighs, I can just feel his blue-eyed gaze fixed on me. "but what am I supposed to do? she won't listen to anyone, the only one who could get her out of this is-" Jason, I know, but we can't just let the poor girl fade like this" 

I now felt both Alfred and Bruce's gaze on me, contemplating on what to do with me. I'm pretty sure Alfred wants to give me a bath, put me in clean clothes, then spoil me with food. While Bruce, to be honest, I think he wants to join me in staring at the batcomputer. I know he thinks it's his fault that Jason lost his memory, but in reality, it's my fault. If I had just quit whining and gotten the job done they wouldn't have been able to lay a finger on him. My fault, not his, "you can just leave me" I stated blandly, "what?" both males snapped, "I said, you can leave me. it's not like anyone sticks around anyway, so why should you?" I literally had no care in the world at the moment, they could leave me for all I care, I meant what I said. Both males were silent for a moment, most likely in shock

a few minutes pass before I hear footsteps coming toward me, not caring, I kept my eyes glued to the computer. "excuse the intrusion miss, but this has to be done" I heard Alfred say, but I wasn't really paying any attention. All my brainpower is switched to finding jay, nothing else. Suddenly, Alfred was in front of me and in one fell swoop, I was up over his right shoulder. "A-Alfred, what are you doing?" taking you upstairs, "but-"no buts missy, I may not be your real Grandfather, but I'm your legal one and you can not go on like this. I forbid it" Alfred stared, a firm grip around my waist as he headed for the elevator. I don't want to go, but I don't have the physical nor emotional strength to do anything about it.  "Alfred" I heard Bruce say, I look over to find him walking our way with a determined look on his face. 

"yes sir?" you're right, I am her father, meaning this is my responsibility. I'll take over from here" Bruce stated, already taking me from Alfred's grasp and slinging me over his shoulder before starting to walk again. I look in front of me to find Alfred with a 'proud dad' smile, "I'll get started on making some f/f then" Alfred smiled as he caught up with Bruce. "my favorite..." I breathed, realizing how hungry I am. "what was that miss y/n?" nothing..."I mumbled, not wanting to admit defeat. "just make sure she gets a proper bath and some clean clothes before coming down for supper. I haven't raised heathens" of course not Alfred, you raised heroes" Bruce chuckled, "I did indeed"

The next two and a half hours were exhausting, Bruce never left my side. He filled the bathtub with a bubble bath and helped me with washing my hair, as I was covered by the bubbles for decency. I don't think he washed my hair very well, but it's the thought that counts. Once I was all clean he left so I could dry off, which I took my sweet ole time with. When I was done and dry, I slipped on the clean clothes I had picked out beforehand. My outfit consisted of a Nightwing sweatshirt, blue joggers, and some ugg boots, Dick's gonna love this outfit. "pfft" I here Bruce hold back a laugh, I come out of the bathroom to find him holding up Jason's Nightwing boxers, the same boxers he made me swear to never tell a soul about. "I HAVE to show these to Dick, he'll love this" no!-" I choked, snatching them out of Bruce's grasp. My heart was pounding and tight as I gasped in for breath, barely getting any. Heaving, I tried to get some air as tears brimmed my cheeks, in and out, in and out

"y/n? are you ok?" n-no" I stuttered, barely able to speak with the lack of air, "just breath, breeeeath, everything is ok-" everything is NOT ok, dad! Jason is missing and has amnesia, he doesn't remember me and thinks that you are the worst person on the planet, nothing is OK!!" I yelled, tears streaming as I collapsed on the carpet. "I don't know if he'll ever remember me again" I cried, my throat raw now, "shh" Bruce soothed as he pulled me into his arms, "we'll get him and his memories back, I promise" how can you say that?" I asked, leaning into his embrace, "because dads know everything, especially Batdads "

Soon after I calmed down and made Bruce promise to never tell anyone about the boxers, Alfred called us down for dinner. "you ready?" do I have to?" I ask, staring at the door in fear, running my gaze over the crack in it that I made all those years ago. "yes y/n, you have to" Bruce chuckled, taking my hand into his, "but, I'll hold our hand the whole way if you want" thanks dad" I said, squeezing his hand. "you know, you've never called me dad" he says matter-a-factly, squeezing my hand back, "I like it"

(a/n: Sorry it took so long with this update, choir, and school work have been keeping me busy😅 But, I'm back! and I'll try to publish more regularly now. I'm still debating on DamiJon, please let me know what you guys think about that and/or any of my writing, in the comments. I love hearing from you guys!🥰)