The Beauty in Eternity

Chapter 69.

"Okay." she agrees, handing the toy back to her sister.

Dahlia wipes her eyes with a smile on her face as she's reunited with the small rabbit.

"Sorry, Dahlia." Izzy whispers, kissing her on the forehead.

I smile at her actions. "That was very mature of you, Izzy. You're a great sister." I tell her.

"You'll be such a great mom one day, you know?" Elijah whispers with a grin on his face.

"Where are we going for food?" Izzy interrupts.

"Where do you want to go? We've been just about everywhere." I chuckle.

"Can we go to the place you and mommy used to go to? You used to take me a lot." she smiles.

I feel a knot grow in my stomach at the thought of going back there, to our spot. I avoid the thought of Carol as much as possible; as horrible as that sounds. It hurts too much to think of her, and it took me almost two years to be able to see Izzy or Dahlia without going home and crying about it afterwards.

"Maybe another time." I clear my throat.

"Please, Mar?" she furrows her brow.

"Izzy, another time." I say a little sharper than I intended. I watch a small frown creep onto her face as she nods her head.

I take a deep breath, Elijah placing his hand on my leg and giving me a gently reassuring squeeze. I feel an overwhelming wave of guilt that I shut down her idea, as much as it pains me—and it does. Izzy just wants to learn more about her mom, and I can't be the one to deny her of that. I made a promise to Carol that I would never let Izzy forget her, spend the rest of my life telling her about the things she can't remember; and I intend to keep it.

"I'm sorry, Iz. Amara's just having a hard day today; of course we can go there." I tell her, watching as her face lights up.

Elijah smiles at me with pride as I give him the directions to our spot. My throat feels as though it's closing up when we pull back into the familiar parking lot. The hundreds of times Carol and I came here from when I was a little girl, to only two years ago. It hurts to be here. It's still too fresh for the nostalgic feeling of warmth, it's just painful.

I paint on a smile and unstrap Dahlia from her car seat, placing her on my hip as I take Izzy's hand in my free one. We take our seats, and I find a high chair for Dahlia. As we look at the menu I pull Izzy onto my lap, holding it out in front of us.

"You see this?" I ask her, pointing to the steak. She nods as she examines the picture beside it.

"This was your mom's favorite thing to order, she got it every time we came here." I tell her as I nibble on my lip to stop any emotion from escaping.

"I can't eat that, it's too big." she cocks her head with a furrowed brow.

"I'll cut it up for you, you don't have to eat it all." I tell her and watch a smile creep back onto her face.

"What else was mom's favorite?" she asks inquisitively.

"Chocolate ice cream, just like you." I tell her as I brush the hair from her face.

We order our food and enjoy the meal; I forgot just how amazing it always is here. I cut up Isabella's steak into small pieces and watched as she ate it happily. I smile, knowing her mom once did the exact same thing for me.

All Dahlia would eat was a portion of mashed potato, but who's to judge a two year olds taste. Elijah and I both finished our meals in record time, relishing in how amazing it tasted. The girls both stuffed a bowl of chocolate ice cream into their faces, with Dahlia getting more of it on her than in her, in my opinion.