Brave Not Perfect- Formally: I'm No Perfect Poet.

the last note to the deadfriends

Warning: I don't care, much like you all didn't.

To the people who were
My friends

Alyshia
James
Bethany
Gemma

That's right
I'm not scared to name
You

You are all in your
Twenties & yet none
Of you have the bravery
Or decency to say
Sorry

Don't cry to me Beth
In the footwell
& then watch me read
Streams of messages
That made my feet-fall
Through the floor of
Everything I thought we
Were
Messages
Which broke
12 years of friendship
12 years of defending you
Of believing you

Don't approach me in the street James
& not even defend your
Cheating nosey...what did
Beth & gemma call her?
Oh yes, that's right
"Its always all about alyshia"-
Girlfriend
Just shrug your shoulders
& plan for the
Benefit baby
After laughing at me
& saying
'You Lowy, a mum? Ha'
At least I'm not in debt
Up to my eyeballs
In a relationship that's built
On crying wolf to different
Parties
On arguments &
Checking each other's phone's
& secret messages of
Distrust
& kissing old men at the
Restaurant

You are lucky gemma
Because I have no words
To give you
You deserve none the police told me 
& I'm happy to do as
They say

So I guess now
The law has record
That you are
All twisted
Because secrets
Between you all
Never stay hidden

Rat a tat tat
Rat a tat tat
Rats rats rats
You keep
Ratting
Each other
Out
Behind eachothers
Backs!

& the professionals keep
Laughing at you all
But I just feel
Ashamed of it all

These people talking so dark
Were suppose to be my
Friends
Now they are
Monsters
Now I'm sat here thinking
What am I suppose to be
Sat here
Thinkin?

I don't know what kind of humans
Bully a person who is so
Vulnerable
I don't know what kind of people
Find that
Entertaining?

No one serious is laughing
Everyone here is too
Disgusted

A worker approached me
Today & said
Love, it's ok
Bad people like that
Are better far away

I agree

So let's hope
The decider will forgive you
For going to the lying devil
Instead of the truth telling girl
That loved & cared for you all
The girl you
All knew
The girl you all tried to
Obsessively kill

Because a case is building
& it's looking pretty ugly
& I don't actually want to
Protect nasty people
Anymore
I have had a lifetime of doing that
After-all

Well
Its never too late to
Aplogise
But the words have already
Come out &
I find myself not actually
Caring anymore
I think I'm numb
To you all
& I'm not holding out for
All of your lies
Anymore

I'm instead letting
God decide
If they forgive you

- Because I certainly never have to.