Brave Not Perfect- Formally: I'm No Perfect Poet.

Point one of a chance

Please don't think
That I don't love you

Please don't think
That I did not want you

I'm terrified
Please understand
You happened by a point 1 of a
Chance

The doctors didn't expect it
I was supposed to be
Barren
From all the beatings

I still can't comprehend
That you are
Inside of me

I find myself resting my hand
On my bloating stomach already
Out of
Instinct

I know though
That instinct
Is not enough
To make a
Great Mum

The doctor told me
They don't know how
Big you are or
How old you are
Until a scan

I imagine you already with
Dimples and closed eyes
I imagine you already in
My arms

But the sky has to take you
My life has to take yours

I'm not safe now
You are not safe

I can't bring you here
Into a place that is so
Dark
With people surrounding me
That are so cruel

It's a rainy day &
I'm outside without a coat on
Picking all the dasies off the
Earth
Pulling petals
I want you
I want you
I want you

I can't have you
I can't keep you
You have to leave me

People
Think I'm evil
Think I'm disgusting
There is no need to remind me

I already feel
Below the Earth
& I wonder
How I ever deserved to
Briefly be crowned

- A mum.