Brave Not Perfect- Formally: I'm No Perfect Poet.

"Healing" & Healing

You must begin "healing"

The therapist had said
Cross legged
Lips pressed
Pen tapping
Lines & lines of my
Heartache and distress
Wrote by her in
Short-hand
Oxford-note
Form

I had only met her once
On my release from
The A&E hospital bed

I don't know why
I thought this time would be
Any different?
Perhaps the mental health team would
Understand me by
This point?

My hands shook
My words
S
  p
     l
       u
          t
            t
              e
                 r
                    e
                       d
I didn't notice
But it was in her
Formal letter

In her notes she
Detailed that
I held eye contact
'A good sign'
Did she not see
That I was begging for
A lifeline?

Show me how to heal
I don't want to keep
Dreaming of black endless
Nights
And wishing for
Silence

I know life is beautiful
Please
I want to
Feel
It all

Instead I left hospital with a
Letter to my employer
Describing how I tried to
End this book of pain
& a recommendation to my doctor
Not to prescribe me
Unsupervised pills
Again

So, I sat in the ice walls of
Home
& read & read & read aloud
The voices of others
To warm my soul

Imagining
That if they can
Keep on writing

Then surely
I can
Too

- The start of healing is of course: Hope